Star Gazer

SUPERNOVA

2008-11-16T09:27:00.001+08:00

Gone supernova.

Check out the black hole.

Alone But Not Lonely

2008-01-21T19:37:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Why Can't I - Liz Phair

I like being alone. I have this special occasion in my life that I call my "Alone Time". I do not have a fixed schedule as to when this occurs during the day. It just happens and it needs to happen before 24 hours are over. If it doesn't, I go crazy. By "crazy", I really mean crazy. I become a total b*tch (more than I usually am on an ordinary day - think bad day + PMS + didn't-have-enough-caffeine), I become either unresponsive or overly sensitive... you get the picture.

I also do not have a set routine as to what I do when I am with me, myself and I. Alone Time = plugging in my earphones and doing one of the following: I read a book, write on my journal, do crunches (haven't been doing much of this lately), go for a run (and this too) or a walk (I do more of this... *lol*), or just watch people go by. Some friends call it AP or Autism Phase (kasi may sarili daw akong mundo).

I need this time to get back and keep in touch with myself. If I don't get to have this, I forget who I am and I forget my purpose in this world. Maybe if I am deprived of enough Alone Time, anyone can convince me that I am straight and I was married a long time ago in a galaxy far,far away. *LOL* Seriously, it is a need. Almost an addiction, even.

I had an ex who was so clingy that I had to enforce a no-contact 24-hour period. No phone calls, no dates, no emails, no chats. No NOTHING. Leave me alone for 24 hours. The ex didn't take it well pero wala naman kasi siyang choice but to let me be.

When I want my AT, it doesn't mean I love my partner any less. It means I love her enough for me to care enough about myself. If I cannot love and care about myself, how could I be expected to care about anything or anyone else? Bear with this idio(t)syncrasy of mine and the rewards will be yours (theirs? *LOL*) to reap.

My momsie dearest shared with me this quote (I apologize but she doesn't remember wheere she got it. So if you do find the source, let me know so I can acknowledge it. Thanks!) that I found quite striking:
"As in human relationships,
when a plant is smothered with too much attention
it can choke and die."

So when I want to be alone, please leave me alone. Do what I want or risk the wrath of the Queen B*tch. I mean it. *LOL* (I'm kidding, of course - not!)

-o-o-o-o-o-

My peyups signature says:

"If you keep looking back
at the things you left behind,
you will not see the things that lie ahead"

Again, I don't know where my officemate found this quote but I got it off her ever-changing signature in her office email. So again, if you find the source, kindly whack me on the head so I can cite it. *LOL* Enchu!

This, I find striking because it struck a chord within me. This could very well be a precis of my life as of *looks at watch* 7:00pm 21 January 2008 +8GMT. *LOL* Its close rival is: "To receive a gift, one must let go of what the hands are clutching." I just thought the first quote was more dramatic. I had images of people looking back at the people and places and loves they left behind, tripping on a dead lion blocking their path then falling down and breaking their necks. *ROTFL*

*morbid humor mode*

-o-o-o-o-o-

If there is anything I miss more than my Calvin and Hobbes Collection, it's my collection of The Far Side Gallery. Yes I am weird and I am proud of it. That way, I can say to myself with certainty. "T*ng ina, Kaeiy. Wala kang katulad... pasalamat ang mundo!"

-o-o-o-o-o-

Another bit from my peyups life: A Love(?) Letter to God!

To The Man Up There,

Pwedeng paki-patay muna yung spotlight? Mainit na eh... *LOL* Anubeh? Wala ka bang ibang mapag-initan kaya ako na lang nang ako ang pinupuntirya mo? Anubeh, malapit na akong hindi maniwala sa "God does not aim to grind you to dust. He just wants to polish you into a perfect gem." Letche, walang namamatay sa pagiging HINDI perpekto! Utang of the inside, hindi ko kailangan maging perpekto. NEVER ko hinangad maging perpekto. Never ko HININGI na gawin mo akong perpekto, letche Ka! Kaya please lang... get off my f***ing case!

Teka, diba dapat nasa Hate Letters ito? Joke lang, peace tayo ha? Alam mo namang I love YOU ko pa rin ikaw, diba? *ROTFL*

-o-o-o-o-o-
"Holding hands with you, and we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too"

Maligo Tayo sa Bagong Taon

2007-12-31T21:54:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Suddenly - Soraya

(For those who do not speak my language, the blog title says "Let us all bathe in the New Year" - a pun on a common holiday greeting)

Only two hours to go and the year 2007 will be over. Done. Finished. So before time runs out (and I have to take a bath already!), let's take a long hard look at the year that was 2007!

What began in the third quarter of 2006 continued with 2007: I felt I have aged 5 years in the past years: one for Q3-4 of 06 and one each for the four quarters of 07. Haha... Seriously, I am stronger and supposedly wiser than I was last year. I hope this progress continues and I will hopefully attain Buddha-hood in the next couple of lifetimes. *LOL*

I always believed that what does not kill me only makes me stronger. Well, this year motivated me to believe that "what does not kill me only makes me stronger and when I become stronger, I will KILL that which failed to kill me." Raaarrrr! Don't mess with this b*tch! Hehehe...

Time is gold but it seemed there is never enough time! This year, I changed jobs... in fact, I am now on my THIRD. I quit my beloved job as a pre-school teacher (it still makes me sad but hey, it's for everyone's good *sniff*) early this year and did a complete 180 in terms of career - I turned corporate. I am now in my second company and I hope to stay here for quite some time before I try to swim in the deeper, more dangerous waters of international business. *ROTFL*

(Oh f*ck, the firecrackers are starting to get louder! Save me! *plugs in earphones*)

I moved out of my momsie's house late this tear - finally! Now they miss me more than I miss them (not!) and it has strengthened my belief that I am not a pack animal... I am more of a solitary hunter. *LOL*

Also, I reaffirmed my belief that while new friends are silver and old friends are gold... some are simply PLATINUM. Right? *wink*

Have a rockin' 2008, y'all. Now if you'll all excuse me while I cover my ears.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A thousand eyes looking at me
but yours was the look that goes right through me...
Some other hands have tried before
but yours is the touch that makes me want more...

Suite Surprise

2007-12-31T16:57:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani

The instructions were: "Meet me at the office before noon. Leave your cellphone at home."

I followed the directions to a T... then I was informed that we were to have lunch at Earle's Deli. Yippee! I had been craving a BLT since forever so I was glad to oblige. After lunch and a quick trip to Starbucks, we went on to our destination: Oxford Suites in Makati Avenue.

Not bad, if I may say so.

Oxford Suites has been around for some time but I never got around to checking into it. I'll save my review of the hotel for another blog because I am so sleepy. I gotta catch 40 winks before I can spew an article that makes sense.

So let me leave these pictures (shempre, alangan mag-post ako ng hindi masaya?!?) as I catch up on my zzz's...

kidding around on the HUGE bed

Ciao!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"If I could escape;
You know I'm not a REAL bad girl..."

It's A Wild WIld World!

2007-11-30T06:28:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Jeepney - Sponge Cola

October 4 was World Animal Day! So to all the animals in the world: domesticated, wild and home-trained (hehe)... I salute you all.

I have always loved animals but as a child, I was picky about the animals I cared about and those I tortured beyond belief. Yes, I am guilty of animal cruelty. You know what PETA says, those that start with animals eventually progress to people. Well, it has been almost twenty years and I haven't found dead bodies in the backyard - mine or anyone else's, human or otherwise - that were slain by my hand.

My adventures into being a pet owner began at age 4. My dad got me a grown brown askal which I named Brownie. Sadly, he caught canine diarrhea and died in a month. I cried like mad for weeks. Then we moved house and I left my sorrows over Brownie in the old house.

Then my lil brother joined me in the new house. We used to catch garden spiders (our old house had a garden bigger than the floor area of our house, whch we lovingly called The Forest) and we would throw them on top of red ant hills. Then we'd melt plastic bottled mounted on sticks and "bomb" the red ants we just fed. Yup, PETA and Greenpeace offense in one (I'm sorry already! Get baaaccckk!) but what the hey! My brother and I finally stopped when we realized we were contributing to the increasing number of insect bites we received whenever we stayed in The Forest beyond 6pm (later, we found out my mom also got dozens of bite marks on her legs whenever she watered her plants so we quit altogether), not to mention global warming - which was not a hot topic back then, no pun intended.

When I got older, we chased the dragonflies that landed amongst our plants. When we caught one, lil Bro would promptly tie sewing thread on its butt and let it fly around like a demented kite. Same thing with frogs - we caught 'em by the dozens and stored them overnight in plastic pails. we released them the next day at nightfall, so they can "eat up all the nasty mosquitoes" in The Forest. One time, we caught a frog (theoretically, they are common garden toads - the kind you probably dissected in your high school and college Biology classes. I know I did!) so huge that we when it let loose a stream of pee, it filled up a cup of Magnolia ice cream. We tried to restrain it and successfully did so by putting it under a half-gallon can of Selecta ice cream (I remember it was Mantecado - my favorite next to chocolate) - which was a very tight fit, believe me. we released it in the deepest recesses of The Forest where it can happily gobble up even the dragonflies and the grasshoppers. My second brother was a baby then and he liked touching the cold-blooded hoppers and laughed when he got peed on. Talk about strange!

One Sunday my dad took me and my lil brother jogging, as was the ritual (then we'd buy special puto with a slice of cheese from the market and when we were lucky, there would be siomai for sale - I usually saved mine for lunch). We deviated from our normal route, which took us up into the hills. Lo and behold, I saw an army of tiny froglets (probably emerged from a pond a few meters away in a grassy vacant lot) jumping towards the road. They looked like huge, flesh-colored ants. I grabbed an empty container of ice lollies (with the top cut off) and stuffed as many of them as I could. If my memory serves me right, I was able to stuff 23 of them in the ice lolly container. When I got home, I stored them in a deep basin (for washing clothes so my mom was mad as hell when she saw what I did) I had sprinkled with a layer of damp soil. Later that day, my mom took me to the grocery store. I took 17 of the babies with me (I left the other 6 in The Forest so they can gobble up mosquitoes) and I happily dispersed them in the store, thinking they could eat moquitoes there too. Of course, it did not occur to me that they were probably too small to survive.

That same year, my second brother's godmother gifted him with a white rooster (he loves roosters - now he loves to eat chicken... konek?) which we named White in Ilocano. However, my dad decided to slaughter him 4 months later, since he usually got into fights with the neighborhood roosters (the little fowl was free to roam and he usually ended up on the other side of the fence, where several fighting roosters were kept). Needless to say, nobody ate the arroz caldo served that afternoon. It sat in the fridge for a week until it became a spoiled blob of porridge and chicken meat.

Two years later, at age 9, my second brother brought home a chick. You know, those reject male chicks that come from poultry farmers - those that usually end up as Day Zero or Day-Old chicks available at your local push-cart with tukneneng and kwekkwek (let's digress: the males are rejected upon hatching because male broilers consume more food than females to fatten up to the same weight). I immediately took to the helpless little thing and I took care of it like a baby. I vowed that it would not be slaughtered for any reason. It slept beside me in a shoebox filled with shredded newspaper and a crumpled facetowel. My second brother named him Tyrannus (the other three my lil brother bought were named Rex, Titanus and Titanic. Sadly, they died just three days later). He became my alarm clock. He'd wake me with his twittering, just in time for me to get to school on time (when Tyrannus was alive, I was never late for school - which I usually was though my house was three blocks from school) and when I got home, he'd meet me by the door. Due to my ignorance of normal chicken feeding, I fed him cooked white rice, strips of meat (a cannibal is what he turned out to be eventually) and lots of bugs from The Forest - grasshoppers, moths and an occasional damselfly. As a result, he remained just slightly larger than a chick but with full feathers that allowed him to go airborne. He lived in a cardboard box lined with shredded newspaper and he was spoiled by everyone in the household. His unfortunate end came in the form of a miniature tiger - a ginger feral cat that usually roamed The Forest. Before my afternoon ballet classes, I took a nap and was awoken by lil Brother shouting that Tyrannus was being eaten by a cat. Apparently, somebody (my cousin, I suspected) left the backdoor open so Tyrannus flew out of his box and took the chance to roam in The Forest (he was allowed to do so when we were with him). My mom, carrying my little sister (still a baby then and had a bum stomach), chased after the cat and hit it with a stick until it dropped the poor chick. It was too late.

We packed Tyrannus in a box of baby shoes (my baby sister's, if my memory is still functional) lined with newspaper and wrapping tissue. Then we gift-wrapped the box, glued a glow-in the-dark crucifix on the top and took it to the church. We buried the box in The Forest. The next day, lil Bro found a tombstone and installed it on the mound of earth that was the chick's grave.

A week after that, the Cat Burials began. Lil Bro and I caught cats (mostly adolescents) and I buried them in knee-deep holes. When they were grown cats, I'd tie their front and back paws together with yarn then bury them. If they were mere kittens, I'd bury them as they were. After filling the foot-and-a-half deep hole, we'd sit and wait if any creature comes out alive. If one did, we wished it a good life. If none did... well, better luck in their next life! When we left the house about two years later, I forgot all about those buried cats. Up until now, I'd rather not have cats for pets but I no longer have the urge to bury them. I even surprised myself when I adopted a white kitten a few years back. However, she went to visit with the other cats and apparently ate poisoned food meant for rats.

I did not have a pet for some time until my youngest sister brought home...tadaaaah!... a duckling! It was male, rejected for the same reasons as male chicks. It looked malnourished, stupid and ready to keel over and die any second. I named it Engot. Which evolved into so many other names (as is usually the case when you are part of my family) until it became Dookie.

The whole family loved Dookie so much that he slept in a cardboard box in our room (near the A/C because he apparently prefers the cold) and sometimes on our beds. When he grew too large to be a bedmate, we housed him in a rooster enclosure - dead center on the carpet of the living room with a floor of shredded newspaper. He would accompany us to family outings and family gatherings. He ate with us at Dampa (and ammused the gay waitresses to no end), took a trip with us to Caliraya and Paete, swam in the beaches of Ilocos Norte and splashed in the rivers of Abra. We celebrated each birthday with a cake, candles and spaghetti. He died at the age of four years and 4 months.

I swore I did not want another pet.

In February of this year, my baby Rex (a male Yellow Labrador) turned one year old. He is fiesty, fat, big and quite a handful but is nevertheless a lot of fun. To walk him is a struggle (he drags me on the street) and to be in his path when he wants something is disaster. He belongs to my two uncles (Rodj and Dindey) but I was able to spoil him like I usually spoil my pets. Hehehe...

Three weeks ago, our newest baby -mine and Jeni's - went to heaven to join the other little ducklings that populate Heaven's Pond (haha!). We sure will miss the sweet little thing. My friend, Greyzie, gave me a picture frame with a duckling on the corner as a belated birthday gift so, she said, we won't miss Baby Dee too much.

So! Belated World Animal Day, y'all. Remember, animals are friends! Not food! Be kind to animals, especially your seatmates. *peace*

-o-o-o-o-o-
""Bumaba ako sa jeepney
Kung saan tayo'y dating magkatabi..."

Masyadong Seryoso...

2007-11-29T16:41:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Could Have Been - Frio

Hmmm... kapansin-pansin na medyo seryoso ata masyado ang mga previous entries ko. May konting drama, may mas maraming drama, may napakaraming drama... Hindi ko nakilala ang sarili ko. Haller, isdatchu? Hudahelaryu? Halleewww... Anubaaah! Para naman akong others eh... Ay hindi naman pala. Slight lang, di naman ma-shadow!

Pero teka... Bakit? Bakit? Bakit ako ganito ka-seryoso? Dahil ba sa ilang oras na meeting tungkol sa pagpalit ng transactions ng Assembly to Test, Assembly to Test to Out, at Test to Assembly? O di kaya nakalanghap ako ng kung anik-anik na fumes na galing sa Mold Cure na amoy sunog na buhok at nag-evaporate na di-ethyl ether at rugby na nasinghot ng taong-grasa at ng utot na mula sa Delta Quadrant? O baka dahil sa mga di-matukoy na klase ng radiation na galing sa projector (di kaya nabaog nako dahil dun?)? Dahil ba nagkanda-loka ang File Mapping dahil sa recent changes na dapat i-apply bagama't napakalapit na ng deadline ng team? O di kaya ay dahil sa hinayufak na pakshet na walanjong product engineer sa basement na bigla ba namang sumulpot at muntik nang... Naaahh, di naman siguro dahil dun. Hindi naman niya siguro sinasadya... Baka kasi nakita niya ang aming version ng Sadako na gumagala sa mga ramps. Matanong nga pag nakasalubong ko ulit, ngyahaha...

Hemingway, dahil uber-stressed na ang mga fifol sa buong departamyento dahil sa SAP Migration na itechiwa, nag-outing kami ng ibang myembro ng aking team. Ayun, lumangoy-langoy kami sa maligamgam na tubig ng Pansol na sinasabing ihi ni Maria Makiling - namfotsah naman, minsan lang mapapalapit sa diyosa eh sa ihi pa napunta! Tapos eh nagsipagkantahan na parang humahamon ng isandaang bagyo dahil may water shortage pa rin sa bansa at nag-kodakan na parang walang kinabukasan. At shempre kumain ng maraming-maraming marami! May lechon, alimango na pinasingawan sa suka at bawang, sugpong niluto with kung anu-anong magic care of Manong Bossing, inihaw na tilapia, inihaw na liempo at porkchop (hindi naman puro carcinogenic ang kinain nila noh?), pinakuluang saba at kamote (kahit na di ako kumakain ng kamote - kahit isabay sa sipit ng alimangong binalatan ni Fafa Domz - tenkyu Fafa Domz! *mwah* Pero ayoko pa rin ng kamote!) Nakakapuyat pero nakakarelaks kahit paano. Biruin mo, bente-kwatro oras hindi sumagi sa isip ko ang Product Component, Airport Arrival Time, Second Optical, Die Attach, Wire Bond, Mold Cure, Assembly Cycle Time at pangalan ng kung anu-anong kumpanyang gumagawa ng kung anu-anong hi-tech na mga bagay. Mental Relaxation, ika nga!

Pero shempre ngayon, back to reality. Kaharap ko nanaman ang aking monitor at kinikindatan ulit ako nila Wafer Receipt, Die Attach Cure at Laser Marking. Hindi ko sila na-miss, pramis! Buti na lang ay merong dalang espasol si Renan mula sa kanilang probinsya at nakapagsabi na ako na o-order ako sa kanya ng maraming maraming espasol sa susunod niyang uwi! Kain lang nang kain! Di bale nang tumaba! Pambawi din sa puyat!

Speaking of puyat, masayang makipagpuyatan sa mga tao dito... lalo na yung mga bukas ang third eye. Nakakakilabot mang pag-usapan, nakakatuwa din naman mag-compare notes tungkol sa kung ano ang nakita/narinig/naamoy nila sa kung saang sulok ng planta. Magsabi lang ang isa ng sentence na nagsisimula sa "Guys, may multo ba sa..." o kaya "Minsan pag gabi, may naririnig ako sa..." ay tuluy-tuloy na ang kwentuhan tungkol sa ating friendly neighborhood once-living chums. I-discuss ang fashion sense ng Lady in Black sa War Room sa mezzanine na parang ten million years nang hindi nakakita ng suklay at nakagamit ng shampoo. Inokray ang suot na unipormeng pang-kinder ng isang chikiting na lalaki na kulay grey na nagtatatakbo sa isang hallway sa mezzanine na walang patutunguhan kundi isang dead end. Naglokohan tungkol sa kasarian ng nagmumultong sikyu na naka-puti na bumubulaga sa glass doors. Pinaka-common nangyayari ito during dinner time. Sakto, madilim na sa labas at oras na ng labasan... ng multo (at ng mga nag-OT na A-shift sa production). Tapos takutan na, pa-corny-han ng jokes para kunwari di natatakot, tapos sabay papasama sa CR kasi naiihi na sa kaba. Tapos maya-maya lang mapapansin namin na pinagsasarhan na pala kami ng canteen at dapat na kaming bumalik sa aming mga cube dahil nagpabayad nanaman kami ng OT na wala naman kaming nagawa kundi magtakutan, magdakdakan at kabagin sa kakatawa... hehehe.

Mahirap pumetiks dito... una sa lahat, naka-deadline kami. Malapit na mag-Go Live! Nakakalokaaaah! Parang gusto ko maging manananggal na nahahati sa anim para magawa lahat ng dapat gawin bago pa dumating ang tinginingining-poknat na deadline na iyan! Pangalawa, mahiya naman ako sa balat ko kung pepetiks lang ako... samantalang andaming dapat magawa! Kung si Manong Bossing nga eh halos di na sila nagkikita ng asawa't mga anak niya para lang matapos ang trabaho... deebah? At shempre, para saan pang pumapasok ako sa opisina kung pepetiks lang din... Magb-blog, magsulat ng kung-anu anong eklavu chevernes, makipag-okrayan sa ibang mga baklitang team mates, paduguin ang ilong ni Yuge sa kaka-Bisaya namin nila Au (na pinsan ng Pambansang Kamao), Grace, Macs at Arbee, takutin si Mommy Cel tungkol sa batang umiiyak malapit sa cube ni Ma'am Emely, at pagkwentuhan ang mga kabalbalan na ginagawa ni codename Barang!

Kaya dapat lang na tigilan ko na itong pagta-type ng wala-wentang post na itech... Trabaho na ulet. Vavayu!

(After ten million years, nagawa ko rin itong i-post. Pero sa bahay na. Alam mo naman ang Internet access sa kumpanya - malakas ang Websense!)

-o-o-o-o-o-
"Could have been a perfect love; I'm still trying
I know you lost your faith in me; now I'm crying
I know I've been such a fool; I've been blinded
Can we just get back to where we started?"

...And To Think I Have Work Tomorrow!

2007-11-02T00:09:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: the sound of clacking mahjong tiles

I have work tomorrow but I have nothing better to do with my time since I can't sleep so it's QUIZ TIME!

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Picky

You have no problem attracting guys - and even dating a little
It's just around second or third date time where you start to see faults
If a guy isn't near perfect, you're not into him.
It's good to have standards - but yours rule almost everyone out.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

I don't have a boyfriend because I'm not interested in them... hehehe...

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

This is almost too kind... Hmmm, I wonder what kind of damage I can do. I know for a fact I can kill someone. Haarrrr...

You Should Own a Dachshund

Comical, social, and stubborn.

What Kind of Dog Should You Have?

Oh yes yes yes! I've always wanted a mini... a black and tan. But Big Baby Rex, (who is getting yellower and fatter at 34 kilos) and Baby Dee are taking up all my time and attention. Aaawww, dogs are so cute!

You Are Coffee Ice Cream

Energetic and lively, you are always on the go.
You're doing a million things at once and doing them well.
You tend to motivate others and raise spirits.

You are most compatible with chocolate ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Love love love coffee! One of the last things I will ever give up!

You Are More Like Angelina Jolie

Bad girl with a heart of gold.
You are smart, sexy, and strong willed.
You aren't against stealing another girl's man...
If he's better off with you!

Are You More Like Jennifer or Angelina?

I luurrvvveee Angelina Jolie. She is just awesome. Words are never enough... Oh Angie, why did you stop with Jenny Shimizu?!? You could have met me... and ran off in the opposite direction, screaming your pretty head off! Harhar...

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

In love, you are very protective and supporting.
However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous.

At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

Mama always said I would be better off in HR than in the technical department... heehee... Sorry mom.

You Inner Gender is Female

You're sensitive, caring, and willing to connect with anyone who's open to you.
You make friends easily, and you enjoy all sorts of conversations.
You understand most people you meet - better than they understand themselves.
You're totally a woman... or at the very least, your soul is female.

What's Your Inner Gender?

I knew it! I knew it! O ayan ha, yung mga nang-aasar sa akin na lalake o pare ako! Read this and be a believer! Babae po ako. Mali ka diyan sa inaakala mo...

And for the grand finale:

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

The picture is just too cute! It is definitely something I would do, harharhar... Come to think of it, I will do that and post the picture on friendster. Seriously, that would be too funny.

Uuuy, aabangan na nila yan! Aminiiiinnn. *peace*

I'm still not sleepy... maybe I'll play a few rounds of mahjong... See yah!

No Bombs In Here!

2007-11-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

Kaiey is listening to: the sound of rain on the rooftop

Instead of the planned shopping spree Jeni and I intended to have today, we went to Trinoma instead. I was curious of the mixed reviews I got. I remember going to Greenbelt 3 during its soft opening and some of the reviews reminded me of the reviews for the newest Ayala mall.

Well, let's just say that some of the comments are true (at least in my opinion) but some were... no longer applicable. The lighting is a bit dark and the ceiling a bit too low, especially in the food court. The choices are not as extensive as that in Glorietta but the overall vibe is more Glorietta than Greenbelt. However, the atrium (the garden levels are in the second/third - I cannot discern - and the fourth level) contains mostly restos found in Greenbelt.

We decided to eat at Jack's Loft. I originally intended to take Jeni there for our anniversary but we found Libis a bit too far from the hotel for comfort. So it was also a good thing we saw it at Trinoma. For starters, we had cheese fries and chicken fingers. Since Jeni loves chicken, this dish was a hit for her! She also ordered Chicken Stir-Fry - juicy chunks of chicken in a bed of rice simmered in broth, strips of sweet red bell pepper and caramelized onions. I tried the rice and it was quite tasty. I had 4 Mushroom Pasta - fettucini in cream sauce with 4 kinds of mushroom. I love mushrooms so this got my approval. We had quite a feast and I cannot believe we ate all of the food up, considering we had a fishbowl of iced tea, haha!

After eating, we walked around the mall looking for a pair of new badminton shoes and a Healthy Options shop. Jeni got her shoes from Badminton Hub and I found the Healthy Options store but failed to find the item I was looking for. Hay...

On other topics, work has been hectic. I've been working na extra 28 hours per week for the project. It's quite amusing that it seems that sineryoso nila talaga yung sagot ko sa tanong nila na "How do you handle pressure?"... sabi ko kasi na I don't like working without pressure. It's just too boring! Hay naku...

Anyway, an old friend and I reconnected some time last week and it's been great! I never thought we'd find each other again and I'm glad we did! New friends are silver but old ones are gold.

Pictures Are Worth A Thousand Words

2007-10-14T10:23:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton

My gosh. One glance at these pictures and you'll know exactly how I feel... Jeni, hug me... =(

-o-o-o-o-o-
"Cos you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you
Tonight..."

There Is Nothing Like The First (Time)

2007-09-15T21:03:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Love In New Wave - Electrico

Dear Ginny,

It's raining again and I can't help but smile at the memory of us running on the streets, holding hands and playing with children a quarter of our age. It probably looked so strange to other spectators - two grown women running like kids barely out of diapers, with warm grins despite the freezing water and the biting wind - but to us it felt so natural. Well, at least it did to me.

You and I both know that my days are probably numbered; we won't know for sure until the doctor either confirms or crushes our worst fears - I hope it's the latter - so until then I wish to spend every second of my life with you. Whatever's still left of my life, anyway.

I'm not complaining, hunny. It's been one blissful, dream-like, love-filled year not wanting in laughter, tenderness and adventure. I am grateful for the year we have spent together and I wish with all my heart that we could spend a hundred more years like that - just together and simply happy.

Thank you. Thank you for keeping me warm in your arms at night, for being the last person I see before I sleep and for being the first person I kiss and touch and smell when I open my eyes in the morning (or a little past noon, if it's the weekend). Thank you for taking time off from work to take care of me when all the bacteria in the world decided to wreak havoc upon my (huge) tummy, for staying beside me as fever raged through my body, for being my pillar of strength when I was at my weakest.

You are my greatest strength and my greatest weakness as well. But I do not find it weak that you and I deny each other nothing, even when the things we want seem bordering on impossible at times. I do not find you weak when you have tears in your eyes, nor do I see cowardice in your face when you whisper your fears to me in the still of night. On the contrary, I see how strong you are by allowing me to share your tears, and how brave you are to accept the things that are beyond your control, and sometimes your comprehension.

Thank you for loving me for who I am and despite who I'm not; for whom I can be for you and despite what I cannot become. Thank you for not changing who and what I am to fit your ideals and thank you for sharing this wonderful life with me.

Thank you for being my protector and for soothing my greatest fears despite your own. Thank you for holding me in those sleepless nights of tears and pain, of fearful whispers - as if the monster of my disease might hear and swiftly come to life with a roar to ravage what is left of me - and of frightful dreams.

Thank you for making me feel secure and safe. That we are safe against threats tangible, intangible and those in between.

I love you, Ginny. With all my heart and with all that I am. I wish we could have more years like this - happy in the simplest things, content with the smallest joys.

You are my most precious treasure, Ginny.

Happy first!

Casey

-o-o-o-o-o-
"And when it comes to consequence
You make me feel like I've got no regrets
You never fail to make me feel so right..."

Punctuate Me!

2007-09-09T14:54:00.001+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Sanctuary - Callalily

Subject: Punctuate Me!
Body:

Hi friends, punctuate this sentence as you see fit:

A WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS USELESS

I decided send this message to all my batchmates plus a few close friends... just to see what their answers would be. Here are some of them:

Olive: A woman, without her man, is useless. (She finally got the guy she loves to commit to her. Congrats, Lamon GIrl 1!)

Greyz: A woman? Without her, man is useless! (She sees her boyfriend of two years only on weekends, twice or thrice a month. Okay ka pa ba dyan, Lamon Girl 2?)

Ge: (He's got two answers)
A woman, without her man, is useless. (So chauvinistic, I swear!)
A woman. Without her man, is useless. (Same thing, dude. Same thing...)

Jeni: (Ang dakilang pasaway; not following directions!)
Men are useless. Period. (Sabagay , "period" is a punctuation mark...)
Both are necessary to create society. (Uhh, yes. Not following directions ka pa rin!)
A woman without her; man is useless... (Yan! Following directions ka na! Beri gud, beri gud. Sebenti-payb!)

Gambit: (Eto rin, di makutento sa isa!)
A woman without her man is useless. (Hala! Sumbong kita kay Len!)
A woman, without her man, is useless. (Strike two!)
A woman, without her, man is useless. (Balik-pato?)

JP: (The diplomatic one)
A woman, without her man, is useless.
A woman, without her, man is useless.

What about you? Punctuate me too!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"You are my light, you are my home
You are my sanctuary
You are my peace, you give me hope
You are my sanctuary..."

Halika, Byahe tayo!

2007-09-08T10:19:00.000+08:00

Kaiey is listening to: a radio ad for Wow! Magic Sing

It's a map of the places I've been and lived in within our beautiful archipelago. I hope to cover the whole map with blue before I turn 50!

My Lakbayan grade is C!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

Wanna come away with me, Jeni?

Don't Judge A Book If You're Not A Judge

2007-08-26T02:18:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Now, Now - Saint Vincent

When we see a person for the frst time, a preconception of WHO she is forms based solely on what we see: her eyes, her hair, her skin color, her smile or lack thereof, the way she moves her body, the color of her shirt, the brand of her jeans, the way her mouth forms the word "hello" and more. We do it all the time, consciously or not, whether we admit it to ourselves or choose to deny it. Everyday, we become self-appointed judges of the people we cross paths with.

But are we creating an accurate mental image of the person? And more importantly, are we worthy of creating that image in the first place?

I have an ex, whom we'll call Ex, who has an ex; let's call her Ex-ex (how original!). While Ex and I were still a (secret) couple, I met Ex-ex once. I formed my preconception (and subsequent mental snapshot complete with characterization) of her guided by this twenty-minute meeting (where I might as well not exist since Ex-ex didn't know Ex and I were already together... but that's another story I'd rather not relive) and Ex's frequent kwento about Ex-ex. I formed a mental image of someone kind and generous but with a quick, hot temper, a jealous heart, an inconsiderate soul and a misguided territorial instinct. When Ex and I parted ways (for the nth and second to the final time... yes, there was a FINAL time), I reconsidered that mental image. It hurt thinking how wrong she was in my eyes (thanks in part to Ex's input) and how wrong I have been to her (not that we had contact at all... but that's an old story best buried in the depths of oblivion). When it all became clear to me, I asked for her silent forgiveness and moved on with my life. I hope Ex-ex has moved on with hers. Let me just say that she deserves a better life.

I quit my old job some months ago and I started on a new job. Along the way, I met more people especially in my new workplace. In a huge company, it's common to barely know everyone in your department. Let's call my direct report Swerte. At first glance, he will appear strict, straight as an arrow, and aloof. I was very hesitant to approach him during my first week at work and I was just about ready to write him down in my book exactly as I had first thought him to be. I'm glad I held off judgement until I got to know him better. He is a sweet guy, very devoted to his family, with such a soft heart and a great sense of humor. He hails from Cebu, has been with the Company for a total of 7 years, flies home to see his wife and two sons once every month (his bunso is adorable and is a spitting image of Swerte), and is helping me re-sharpen my Bisaya. I won't say he isn't strict; he is just very particular with the quality of work that is turned in and he inspires me to be too. Thanks to Swerte, I am more OC than I already was before joining the Company. Kidding! That's not exactly a bad thing! If I stay longer in the Company, he'd make a great mentor.

In the Company, I share my cube with a nice guy I'll call Melby. My other two batchmates (whom we'll call BM1 and BM2) do not share my opinion, however. To them, Melby is 'maangas'. I don't understand why! You see, BM1 and BM2 are eyeing a cute girl from our department (whom we'll call The Crush) who is rumored (now I've confirmed this thanks to my PR powers, hehe) to be ardently pursued by Melby.

BM1: Kaeiy, di ka ba naangasan kay Melby?
Kaeiy: No, I actually think he's nice. Bungisngis nga yun eh. Pag nagsasalita, laging nakangiti.
BM1: Hindi kaya! Kanina, sinundan ko ng tingin si The Crush. Papunta ata ng CR. Paglingon ko, nakatingin pala si Melby. Ang sama ng tingin saken. Parang lalamunin ako nang buhay!
BM2: Ikaw kasi eh, kung makatingin ka!
K: Baka naman hindi sa iyo nakatingin. Tsaka hindi naman siya maangas sa akin.
BM1: Siguro kasi babae ka. Nakaka-joke mo ba yun?
K: Oo naman! Minsan kasi siya nagsisimula eh.
BM2: Babae ka kasi.

I do not understand why BM1 and BM2 could not look beyond Melby's exterior, though I agree he looks maangas at first glance. He's tall and lanky and his facial expression is not exactly friendly when he's not smiling (but that instantly transforms when he smiles or laughs). He has the trappings of a stereotypical conyo-kid: the polished English, a flashy car he uses to take The Crush home when she consents, a relatively expensive sport he indulges in and a generally pa-macho air. But he is different when he opens his mouth and starts talking and laughing. He reminds me of a little boy who did something naughty to me but wants to be friends nonetheless. He speaks of his sport with passion and it's a source of pride for him and for the department's team. He's such a jester and he is full of praise and friendly banter for everyone. Why don't BM1 and BM2 see that? Is it because of first impressions that they did not bother to verify? Or is it because of The Crush?

Speaking of The Crush, I also took to observing her since BM1 and BM2 are so into her. At first, I thought she was a friendly, approachable gal. Nah... I was wrong, unfortunately. Parang feel na feel niyang ang ganda niya! In fairness, she is cute... but to be so iffy and sungit, what a turn-off! But again, I might be wrong! She could be just inherently shy and perhaps she's not much of a talker. If that's the case, bagay sila ni Melby! Hehehe...

Thank goodness I'm not a judge. I wouldn't want to be passing judgement on people, knowing I myself am being judged and that I am not infallible.

-o-o-o-o-o-
"You don't mean that, say you're sorry
You don't mean that, say you're sorry
You don't mean that... I'll make you sorry!"

Blog Me!

2007-08-23T15:48:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to : Wag Ka Nang Umiyak - Sugarfree

August 16, Thursday - It was KT's birthday so I hurried home to cook pasta for her. I was tired and all I wanted to do was fall asleep but I cooked anyway, since I figured this could be the first time the whole family can have a meal together. Unfortunately, Kaiz couldn't come. No matter, Jeni came by with a cake and we had a little party... sort of. After dinner, Jeni and I took some pasta to bring to Jeni's family. They liked it, so I'm probably cooking it for Tita F's birthday.

August 17, Friday - Last day of work. Dead tired and sleepy. All I wanted to do was get on the shuttle, lose consciousness and wake up a few blocks from my house. However, the weather had different plans. The darn typhoon was howling like mad through the metro and the already-narrow East Service Road was reduced to a one-way street. Result: a sleepless 3 1/2 hour ride from Sucat to Buendia to pick up Jeni from the office. Had one hell of a dinner at Greenwich (2 piece chicken meal with rice for each, double pizza to share) and ended up taking home a piece of chicken and a slice of pizza. When Jeni and I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep. So sleep I did... after watching an episode of L Word. Long weekend ahead! Yippee!

August 18, Saturday - Woke up late and lounged in bed with Jeni for a while before getting up to take a bath. Jeni went to the office (ganun talaga pag may OT...) and I went home. Read Chocolat (good book) and started on The Summons. Ate a huge dinner (no surprise there) plus ginataang mais! Watched TV while I waited for Jeni until 2am. When she arrived, we just slept. It's a wonder neither of us fell off my tiny bed.

August 19, Sunday - Woke up at around 10am, got up to take a bath. Had lunch then went to the mall. Went hunting for a small backpack for Jeni. Finally settled for a black and silver Nike one. If only for the Zen, I'm sure she won't bother with a bag. Had early dinner at Bon Vivant: I had spicy Pekingling-Kiling and she had mild Sea-Sea-Sid. I almost ordered Under the Sea out of habit (paging Dada: dalawang Under the Sea, isang spicy at isang mild!) but glad I didn't; I may have found a new favorite! Also got Crab Clar and fried Sharksfin Dumpling from PotDog next door. Went to the grocery to buy lettuce for tomorrow's lunch but ended up stocking up on different boxes of cereal and milk (how brave of me to try cow's milk! Eeeek!), as well as Jeni's new favorite: Swiss Miss Milkshake! Went home to Jeni's and ate dinner (again) that we couldn't resist: inihaw na bangus! Played mahjong till around 2am... and fell in bed asleep and snoring... not!

August 20, Monday - Woke up at 10 to find out Jeni needs to go to work again! Grrr... but we pushed thru with our plan to cook liempo and make lettuce salad (separate entry on this - watch for it!). Ate lots, as usual then off she went to work and I went home. Decided to treat my mom and sisters to SanFo Treats (caramel apples - yummy! Separate entry on this too!) at the mall. Jeni finished work early so she met up with us and joined me in eating lots of apples. She brought some sausages from Earle's Deli (yet another entry for this one) which we plan to eat while teaching my sisters to play mahjong. Felt kinda sick afterwards... hehe. Went to the grocery to buy ingredients for sinigang na liempo (pork again, I know!) and potato chips to go with the sausages. Another entry on this one... with the recipe, I promise! ;) So ate like pigs again that night... can you blame us if we slept as soon as one episode of L Word was over?

21 August, Monday - Forgot to pack Jeni's office shoes so I lent her my blue sneakers... but na lang blue din yung polo niya. Sana hindi siya napagalitan. Hehehe... I love my workplace: walang dress code. I'm back to looking like a college student. And with my short, short haircut I'm sometimes mistaken for a high school student. D-uh! Anyway, gotta go gotta go! On my way to log-out and head on home!

Meemil: O ayan ha! May update na! Joke, joke, joke! Hope you had a good weekend!

Dada and Ceccz: kamusta na kayow? Balita naman jan! Nilunok na ba kayo ng ospital?

Hi everyone! I missed my blog! Did you? Harharhar...

-o-o-o-o-o-

Hindi kita pababayaan, hindi kita iiwanan...

Surveys: Love 'Em or Hate 'Em Part I

2007-07-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: You'll Be Safe Here - Rivermaya

I usually don't like surveys but I was surfing around and I chanced upon Vani in Peyups and I decided to surf her blog. Guess what I found? This survey. So here I am on a sleepless Sunday night, answering a survey. Hey, miracles do happen! After all, anything that concerns food: its consumption, culturing and preparation - is of HUGE interest to me. It's obvious with how HUGE I've become. Har!

1.Marunong ka bang magluto? Do you know how to cook?
Yes, I do.

2.Kumakain ka ba ng ampalaya? Do you eat bitter gourd?
Yes yes yo! One of my favorites actually. I like them a little bitter...

3.Anong mas gusto mo, Mcdo or Jollibee? Which do you like more, McDonald's or Jollibee?
McDonald's. Jollibee's become overpriced for its quality (or lack thereof), so sad to say.

4.Anong madalas mong inoorder sa number 3? What do you usually order for #3?
Chicken nuggets or McChicken Sandwich, large Fries and a sundae (caramel) or an Oreo McFlurry. Makes me wanna dial 8-MCDO this very moment... Hehehe...

5.Mahilig ka ba sa maanghang? Do you like spicy food?
Oh yes, oh yes. It's a wonder my ass isn't bleeding liters.

6.Nahilig ka ba sa scrambled? Do you like scrambled?
Scrambled what? I never did care for scrambled brains... But scrambled eggs I appreciate. Especially when piping hot. And cooked with tomatoes. Or mushrooms. Or asparagus. Yummy!

7.Anong mas gusto mong sawsawan ng fishball, ung matamis o ung maanghang? What fishball sauce do you prefer, sweet or spicy?
There's an art to it: first dip it in the spicy-sweet one then dunk in the chili-vinegar one. Now that's heaven on Earth!

8.Anong paborito mong sangkap ng halo-halo? What's your favorite halo-halo ingredient?
Sweetened banana. Come to think of it, I'd rather eat saging con hielo than halo-halo.

9.Sumusunod ka ba sa instruction ng isang recipe? Do you usually follow recipe instructions?
Yes, I am obedient the first time around. After that, I'm in charge... not the recipe. Mwehehehe!

10.Anong kakanin ang gustong gusto mong kainin? What rice cake are you craving for right now?
Right now? Ginataang bilo-bilo! I want a big bowl of it, cool from the fridge and sticking to your teeth and palate. Nam nam!

11.Bumibili ka ba ng samalamig na may sagong maliliit? Do you ever buy samalamig with small sago? (or pearl drink)
Oh yeah. And use the taro pearls as sumpit.

12.Banana-q o Turon?
Turon. Or rather, turon-lettes.

13.San ka madalas kumain ng tapsilog? Where do you usually eay Tapsilog?
Cora's near Jeni's place. But I'd rather not eat there anymore. Hehe...

14.Nasarapan ka ba sa Pearl Cooler? Do you find Pearl Coolers delicious?
I liked Greenwich's Taro Pearl Coolers.

15.Thick crust or Thin crust?
It depends on what resto made it. For thin crust, I like Shakey's.

16.Kinakain mo ba ung taba na nasa dulo ng pork bbq? Do you eat the fast by the end of a pork bbq stick?
Of course! I live only once!

17.Bumibili ka ba sa manong na nagtitinda ng tuhog tuhog na mangga at singkamas? Do you buy green mangoes and turnips from the street vendors?
Of course. I love them mangoes really sour and the turnips young and crips. Smothered in sweet-spicy bagoong. Oh yeah!

18.Catsup ba o Mayonnaise ang sawsawan mo ng French fries? Do you dip your fries in ketchup or mayonnaise?
Ketchup. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of ketchup (can't overemphasize that enough).

19.Ano ang madalas na Special Order request mo kapag umoorder ka sa fast food restaurant? What's your special order request when ordering in a fast food restaurant?
No salt on my fries and a large Coke Light. Extra rice. Hehe...

20.Dine-in or Take-out?
Dine-in. Life's too short to always be rushing around.

21.San ka nakakain ng masarap na sisig? Where's the best place you ate sisig?
I agree with Vani, Mang Jimmy's rocks! The canteen down the road from the office makes a good version too.

22.Ala Carte or Set Meals?
Wa pake. Basta gutom, pagkain yun! (huh?)

23.Mahilig ka bang mag-softdrinks? Do you like softdrinks?
Not anymore. It makes me feel bloated.

24.Kumakain ka ba ng nakakamay? Do you eat with your hands?
Yes, especially when food is hard to peel. At times like those, it's better to go back to basics.

25.Anong paborito mong ipalaman sa tinapay? What's your favorite sandwich spread?
Egg salad.

26.Nakakain ka na ba ng adidas at ulo ng manok? Have you eaten chicken feet or head?
The head I do not care for but I have tried it. I love chicken feet. The stuff from Causeway is y-u-m-m-y!

27.Tinatabi mo ba yung komiks sa bazooka? Do you keep the comics in the Bazooka bubble gum?
I used to! It was kind of an obsession for a time until I got tired of the ants in my drawers. Hekhekhek...

28.Chicharon or Fish Cracker?
Both. I love Lapid's chicharon... yung may laman! Heart attack in a plastic bag! Aaauuugghhh *clutches chest*

29.Bumibili ka ba nung laruan na may candy sa loob?
Yep, I love the pinwheels.

30.Nakatikim ka na ng kwek-kwek? Have you tasted kwek-kwek?
Yup, it's good pero madaling makaumay!

31.Kinakain mo ba ung sisiw na nasa balut? Do you eat the chick inside the balut?
Hey, that's the best part... maliban sa sabaw.

32.Nagmimidnight snack ka ba? Do you have midnight snacks?
Most of the time, since I have a hard time sleeping at night... like tonight. Contributes to my weight a lot, let me tell you!

33.Malakas ka ba sa kanin o sa ulam? Which do you eat more, rice or viand?
Rice. Lots and lots and lots of rice!

34.Champorado o Lugaw?
Champorado. Everything is better with chocolate!

35.Cheese Ensaymada o ung plain lang? Cheese or plain Ensaymada?
Not fond of cheese...

36.Boy Bawang o Cornbits?
Boy Bawang. To hell with the bad breath!

37.Kapag Wet Goods, Grocery o Palengke? Wet Goods: do you buy in the market or grocery?
Market. I love the wet market... I like it wet. Hyuk hyuk.

38.Anong part ng manok ang paborito mo? What's your favorite chicken part?
Thunder thighs!

39.Nasubukan mo na bang iulam ang chippy? Have you tried eating Chippy as a viand?
Yep. Nasubukan mo nang ipalaman sa pandesal?!?

40.Curly Tops o Nips?
Flat Tops. Wait, aren't Flat Tops and Curly Tops made of the same chocolate?

41.Anong paborito mong luto sa itlog? What kind of egg dish do you like?
Sunny side up, of course.

42.Kumakain ka ba ng dinuguan? Do you eat dinuguan?
Yup, the spicy-sour kind that Ilocanos make. With lots and lots of puto.

43.Cold drinks o hot drinks?
Cold cold cold cold.

44.Ginagawa mo din bang lipstick ung cherry ball bago mo kainin? Do you use the cherry ball as a lipstick before you eat it?
I used to do it to Lipps candy.

45.Hany o Chocnut?
Chocnut. Hany is too sweet.

46.Anong pagkain ang binibili mo pagkatapos mong magsimba? What food do you usually buy after attneding mass?
Right now, it's straight to McDonald's after mass, most of the time anyway.
-o-o-o-o-o-

So there... I'm done with the survey and I'm still not sleepy. Gawd...

-o-o-o-o-o-
"When nothing seems real, you'll be safe here..."

Food Trip: Cheap Thrills Part I

2007-06-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Samson - Regina Spektor

Okay, cheap thrills! I love those little snacks that come in tiny packs and cost anywhere from 50 cents to 2 pesos. This little article is my tribute to the little things in life... literally!

1. Chikito - Think Crackernuts (Nagaraya) but smaller. I prefer the hot and spicy variant over the regular one (shempre, ako pa!); best taken with Coke sakto (200ml).

2. Meringue - I know this is not usually a cheap thrill but this variant is the sort you'd find selling for 70 to 85 cents each wholesale in the dry-goods area of the market, and 1 peso each . It comes in four colors (not flavors; it all tastes the same): white, pink, orange and green. I prefer them fresh and crisp out of the plastic bag (ugh, more waste for the environment) while Jeni prefers them makunat. Eeew... but hey, to each her own!

3. Tomi - In sweet corn flavor. That's the only one I'd eat. It's like eating sugared corn kernels without the mess.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Since I've been staying over at Jeni's frequently I learned to play lots of card games, all of them involving gambling (har har). I can play a mean game of pusoy and I think my pusoy dos game improved because of that. I learned to play poker and mahjong and I don't think I've lost yet (beginner's luck is still with me, hyuk hyuk).

Also, I gained lots of weight as Jeni also packed on the pounds. (Un)fortunately, we're both food-lovers: I love trying out new stuff and she gamely eats whatever I suggest (I'm pickier than her, actually. Go figure!) so most of our savings go to eating out. Harhar... We try to play badminton at least twice a week but with this kind of schedule (which I'm still getting used to) isn't exactly making things easy for us!

Anyway, I gotta catch my forty winks. It's been a loooooong week. G'nyt folks!

-o-o-o-o-o-

I had wanted Wendy or Mickey to win so I was so happy when Gee-Ann was proclaimed the 4th big winner. I hated that her fans were so rude as to boo the Wendy impersonator and later, Wendy herself. Being Gee Ann's fans gives them no right whatsoever to judge Wendy in whatever way. I think Wendy is really strong and she stands up for what she believes in and for the people she cherish. She fought for her love and she is obviously devoted to her family. She is brave and strong and I think women should be more like her in terms of self-confidence and grit. Sana, bago sila pumuna ng baho ng iba ay pansinin muna nila ang putok nila! Grabe, they booed Wendy even while she spoke! Doesn't that behavior reflect the person they idolize? I know Gee Ann fans will probably say I have no right to judge Gee Ann in whatever way either. Well, I didn't! So there! I did not like Gee Ann when she was in the house. I still don't like her (nor Beatrice). But like I said, to each her own.

I still like Wendy and she is still a winner for me. So there (again)!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Change is inevitable. Change is good. There can be no progress without change. But what if that change takes you away from everything and everyone you know and love? It's really hard right now but I know things will get better as time passes. Bagong experience ito. After all, what does not kill me only makes me stronger. Bring it on!

-o-o-o-o-o-

My stargazer-in-training,

As the tides of fate sweep us away from each other physically, I know that the bond of our love draws us closer as it has always done.

We may not have so much time as we used to to to lay down under the heavens and gaze at stars but when we do, I know the time we spent apart will be well worth it.

Be strong, my love. I will be here always.

Your stargazer

-o-o-o-o-o-
"Her hair was long when we first met
I loved you first..."

POX-siyet!

2007-04-03T14:07:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Give - UrbanDub

Last night, I had a craving for Chicken Joy so Jen and I went to an outlet near my place. A stone's throw from the outlet is a residential place for...errr... relocated (if you want to be PC about it) folk. I picked out a table near the AC, as the summer sizzle has the Metro in its fiery grip. I walked over to the table and my reflexes made me jump back a couple of feet.

Lo and behold! In the next table was a little girl of about 4... covered with varicella lesions in its initial stages of healing. The damn kid had chicken pox! Fuck! How much worse could the day get?

You see, I've never had chicken pox. Nobody in my nuclear family has ever had chicken pox. I haven't gotten my shots this year and chicken pox is not something I would want to have in this lifetime or the next, for gawdsakes. Being in an enclosed AC environment made the transmission of varicella a great possibility.

But of course, hunger won over pestilence (?) so Jen and I settled for sitting at a table the farthest away from the said poxy girl. Before the PC police descend on me and pummel me to a pulp,let me explain. I know it's not the kid's fault. Damn if she knew she was contagious. It's her parents I want to clobber with a medicine textbook. Chickenpox is at its peak during the summer and their negligence is going to make it worse.

If I get chickenpox within the next week, you know who to blame. It's that pudgy bald man and his fat wife with a skinny daughter.

Pag ako, nagkaron ng bulutong... mga POX-siyet kayo!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"The moment I give is the moment you take
You're less than forgiven
The moment I wake is the moment you sleep
You're always receiving"

Summer Is HERE!

2007-04-02T10:20:00.000+08:00

Kaiey is listening to: First of Summer - Urbandub

The sun is baking the city and frying our skins to a crisp. Yes, summer is definitely here and with that comes a myriad things we usually associate with summer.

1.) Holy Week - Every year, we all look forward to this "holiday", not because we are a pious lot but because we'd like to go out of town, soak ourselves in pools and beaches and maybe have a dangerous liaison or two. Admit it, you don't REALLY commemorate the sufferings of Christ. The most pain you go through is that pounding headache from demolishing a whole bottle of Cuervo all by yourself the night before! But hey, this is when we visit seven churches (or 14, as I did a couple of years ago. Meron akong panata noon, may hinihiling ako that's why I ended up in 14 different churches but I'll be opaque on this one and I won't rehash the squalid details), go on the "Stations of the Cross" and maybe even do penitensya (NOT for the faint-hearted, I tell you! Imagine being splattered with blood and gore from self-inflicted wounds).

Last year, I went to the boonies up North for some R and R so I got to celebrate Holy Week boonie-style. They create these cottage-like structures called abong-abong where real people act as statues to depict the different scenes from the last days of Christ. I always got a kick out of the crucifixion scene. One can count the many ways to affix one's self on a wooden cross short of actually driving nails through the wrist.

A bit of trivia: contrary to what most would see in Catholic churches, nails were not driven through Christ's palms. These nails would've ripped right through bone and tendon and the man would've been slumped down on the ground in an unglorified heap before dying. The nails were driven through their wrist, right where the radius joins the ulna. This way, there is something to support the body. The nails appear to be on the palms because the ligaments and skin on the wrist tore and the whole body slid down because of the weight. Also, crucified humans do not die of the tetanus. They die of asphyxia. Simply put, being in the cross position with arms raised the way they are (about 40 degrees off the line of the shoulders) cramps the chest cavity(is it the serratus anterior that cramp? Could anyone correct me on this?), making it hard to breath. In order to breathe, they must raise themselves up on their feet, extending their knees, to make the arms parallel to the ground and allow chest expansion. To hasten death, their knees are broken so they can't support themselves anymore and they die because they can't breathe.

Going back to regular programming, Holy Week is a time when malls are closed, TV programming sucks and Video City makes a killing. This year, my Holy week will be summed up as follows (providing they all push through): Wednesday-Thursday will be spent in Anilao, Friday-Saturday will be spent in Pagsanjan, Sunday-Monday will be spent in Bataan. Or Jen and I might just end up vegging out in front of the TV, watching Prison Break and the entire first season of Grey's Anatomy from Friday to Monday.

2.) Circumcision- Otherwise known as "tuli", this ritual of (mutilating the) manhood is usually done in the summer, since school is out and the little boys can waddle around like ducks in skirts without much embarrassment. It is actually something to be proud of. It means a piddling little boy can now boast of being a man after his foreskin has been surgically cut, folded and sewn in a sterilized environment, regardless of how much he moaned, whined and cried during the whole thing.

On the topic of tuli, Jen and I watched the movie "Tuli" on dvd yesterday. It stars Bembol Roco, Desiree del Valle, Vanna Garcia and Carlo Aquino. Ping Medina was also in there. The story goes: Desiree is the daughter of the little town's manunuli, played by Bembol. Like all men in the town, he is an alcoholic. Little boys come to him with a gift of liquor to have their tooties mangled. Desiree assists the operation, wherein she is the one who makes pukpok on the blade to cut off the offending skin. Like the traditional little towns, women are slaves to the men and must conform to societal standards of being housebodies who bend over backwards to satisfy the patriarch's every whim and fancy. If not for the fantastic reviews, I would've tossed the TV out the window when Bembol made the young Desiree kneel on salt. Grrrr... Anyway, Vanna is Desiree's childhood friend, with whom she plays bahay-bahayan. Naturally, Desiree is the tatay while Vanna is the nanay. When they grew up, Vanna agreed to do the nasty with Ping. As I understood, she got preggy so she and Ping were betrothed but she miscarried and Ping could not stand to be married to her so he runs off to some undisclosed location. Meanwhile, while comforting a distressed Vanna, Desiree proposes that she will marry Vanna. Cut to a scene where a group of men are singing harana to the two girls and Desiree feels up Vanna. Ooohhh lala! Vanna's dad sees the girls' love letters to each other and cuts Vanna's hair, prompting the poor girl with layered locks to run away to Desiree's house. Meanwhile, Desiree's dad is diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver (a disorder of the liver due to excessive alcohol consumption) and he expires while Vanna eats out Desiree in the next room. So Vanna and Desiree cohabit with Desiree's widowed melancholic mom. The two girls decide that it would be best that Desiree get pregnant to give her mom a grandchild. So Desiree seeks out Carlo, the only uncircumcised male in the town. They do the doodie and Carlo reveals that he witnessed the murder of his father, which is why he never got circumcised. Desiree gets pregnant, bad luck falls on the town and is blamed on the two women, a group of townspeople come after them but is saved by Carlo, whose fatherhood is revealed and that settles the whole conflict. So the baby is christened Ferdinand Magellan, Desiree circumcises Carlo and the movie ends.

It was a good movie. The audio leaves something to be desired but the cinematography was superb, the shots executed beautifully. My favorite shot (aside from the love scene between Vanna and Desiree... so sue me!) is a particularly poignant one wherein Desiree applied lipstick to Vanna's lips (the horizontal ones!) after her locks were just shorn off haphazardly. Vanna's face was framed by a hole on the mosquito net; everything is a blur except for her face and she was wearing an expression of complete rapture.

3.) Swimming - As I mentioned in item 1, most don't really reflect upon the life of Christ during Holy week and I am no exception. This week, I plan to roast myself under the sun and go swimming! The first of many trips is due on Wednesday. Yippee! Anilao, here I come!

-o-o-o-o-o-

I quit my job last Friday. No more papers, no more books. No more students, dirty looks. Two weeks from now, I will be a certified paper-pusher... or rather, a keyboard pianist. Gah... Will I survive or will I run screaming from the office and go back to screaming with the kids? Stay tuned, my one or two avid readers!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Go anywhere with you
drive me away coz
Tonight just feels right
Take me away with you tonight..."

Surveys Galore!

2007-03-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

1] Is there someone who you like at the moment?

* Yes, of course. =)

2] Does that someone know that you like him/her?

* Of course she does. Not unless she got hit by a shuttlecock and developed amnesia. *gasp*

Facts:
1. Name - Kaeiy

2. Ethnicity - Pacific Islander... FIlipino all the way!

3. Hair color - Black

4. Eye color - Dark Brown

5. Favorite color - COLORS! Violet, lime green, bright orange, black. Is silver a color?

6. Glasses - I wear reading glasses... when I remember to wear them.

7. Tattoos - I have none as of the moment.

Have you ever:
1. Cut your own hair?

* I've cut my bangs. Does that count? I suppose so...

2. Done something you regret?

* Don't we all? *rolls eyes*

3. Skipped school?

* I'm no saint, that's for sure! Har har...

4. Bungee-jumped?

* Not yet, dammit!

5. Punched someone?

* No. Haven't even slapped anyone. Yet. There's this one person who's just about to get it pretty soon!

6. Cheated on a test?

* Like I said, I'm no saint.

7. Been arrested?

* Not looking forward to it. At all. Na-uh!

8. Broken in someone's house?

* No. But I did break into the school canteen. Har har...

10. Been to a funeral?

* I've been to too many funerals.

11. Used a lighter?

* To light candles? Har har... Halleur?! What am I, a kid?!?

12. Been on stage?

* Yes. Worst and best place to be. Ulk!

Favorite:
1. Season – Summer. Sun, surf, sand and... s... *evil grin*

2. Food – Japanese and Italian

3. Breakfast – I don't eat breakfast. A kiss and a hug would be nice.

4. Person – Aside from myself?

5. Book – Too many to mention

6. Lake - Next question please.

7. Sport to watch on TV – Badminton, football (especially during World Cup), and women's tennis. Hee hee...

8. Name for a son – (Wag sana ma-unsyami) Alexander Kristoff Rykov

9. Name for a daughter- (As I said earlier, sana wag ma-unsyami) Aeiea Katharina Rajiin

Do you prefer:
1. Coffee or Cappuccino

* Soy latte, please.

2. Long or short relationships?

* Long. I'm for keeps... most of the time. LOL

3. Scary movies or comedies?

* Scary movies! Bring it on!

4. Short or long hair on the opposite sex?

* None on the opposite sex. Long hair on the same sex but no hair down there. LOL

5.Fruits or vegetable?

* Both. Life's boring without them.

First things that come to mind:

1. Chainsaw – Deforestation and devastating floods

2. School - Fun!

3. Cows - Their milk makes me poop...

4. Canada – Maple syrup *shrug*

5. Mouse – "Wireless"

In the past week have you:

1. Talked on the phone?

* Of course.

2. Watched a movie?

* Nope, I am so deprived. LOL

3. Cried?

* Yes. No harm in crying...

4. Smoked?

* No. Good girl ako eh.

5. Drank a glass of water?

* No. I use bottles. *wink*

6. Used drugs?

* Tylenol and Excedrin.

7. Read a book or magazine?

* All the time! LOL

8. Watched T.V.?

* Yes yes yes.

9. Taken a shower?

* Ano ako, hydrophobic?

10. Taken a picture?

* Yes... but for private consumption only!

11. Listened to music?

* Music is my life.

12. Told someone you loved them?

* Yes... with a reply! *nam nam*

13. Watched a football game on tv?

* Nope.

TIME FINISHED- 11:47 pm

In My Room

2007-03-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Kwarto - Sugarfree

Ayoko nang bumalik doon. Ayoko nang maibalik sa ganon. Dito na lang ako. Masaya na ako kung nasaan man ako.

Salamat na lang.

Kuntento na po ako sa kung anong meron ako.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon...
... natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto't naro'n siya"

My Fair Lady

2007-02-19T13:02:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: 2Things - UrbanDub

After ten million years (minus 9,999,998 years), I was able to go to the Friday edition (parang That's Entertainment) of the UP Fair! Wheeee! I swung by the office to pick Jen up at around 7pm then we went to UP. While waiting for the others, we hung out with Rox, Rei, Ros (puro R ah!), Cha, and Zari. In the span of 2-3 hours Anj, Jing and Dee came and we lined up to enter the Fair.

I think we spent more time outside the fair that we did inside. But it was fun, nonetheless. I think we were the noisiest group (the pre-pubescent group of punkistas notwithstanding) inside and outside the grounds. We wasted a ton of one-peso coins, just tossing them at colored squares. Then we shot at pigs and soldiers with pellet guns (we got a Cloud9 bar, I think) before bursting balloons with make-shift dart pins (I swear, isusuka ako ng Darts Club!). It was fun.

We started the journey home at around 2am. We took a cab; commuting is such a pain when all you want to do is fall into bed and snooze.

It's good to fall asleep with someone in your arms and knowing that she is truly, 100% yours.

Happy Fair Day, everyone!

-o-o-o-o-o-

How high can we both fly
And you answered so soft
That you can never be mine
Cause everything's too complicated
But you wish we could be
It's wishful thinking that you will
Leave everything for me

End of Catharsis

2007-02-16T11:29:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Waiting For A Sign - Paramita

I'm BACK! I am soooo back! Harharhar!

It's my baby's first birthday tomorrow! I am so proud of him and I love him to pieces. I plan to host a birthday party for him tomorrow afternoon. Jen is going to be there too and that's a very good thing!

-o-o-o-o-o-

The best things in life are free...

-o-o-o-o-o-

I am so busy busy busy! But in time, I will find time (that sounded so wrong. Oh well...) to blog more. And for godsakes, I'll update this darn template! After all, para saan pang nakabangon na ako mula sa halos dalawang taong pagkawala sa sarili kung hindi ko rin naman ipagpapatuloy ang aking... katinuan. Am I even capable of being matino?!? Bwahehehehe... We'll find out soon.

Stay tuned!

And just so I won't appear to be a total slacker, I'm posting an entry that I put in another blog I tried to start (and failed miserably. What the hell, story of my life!) that i wrote at around this time last year. And don't even try looking for the damned blog. It's gone! It never existed! Waaah!

Here goes:

THE BOONIE CHRONICLES

WARNING: Some scenes may be too graphic for some readers. If you are sensitive, close the web browser now. If you go ahead and read this then end up puking all over your keyboards and laptops, let me say this: I DID warn you!

So here we go...

One pretty ordinary day in my mundane life, I hit upon the idea: Why not spend a week in the boondocks for some R&R? I felt it was a good idea so I went ahead and did it.

Piled into the ten-year old car was my Nanay (my maternal grandma), Dindey, Rodj (her sons; therefore my uncles) and my (not-so-) little baby boy, Rex.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, R&R stands for Rex and Rehabilitation. Harhar.

So anyway, we left at 10am to push for the boonies. The trip would take anywhere from 8 and a half (a suicide mission involving no stop-overs whatsoever except for gas and bathroom breaks for the passengers) to 12 hours (including two one-hour stop-overs, copious bathroom breaks and horrendous Manila-style traffic after the highway). Ours took about ten hours. Not bad.

The heat was terrible. Summer is a bitch. But hey, life's a beach!

After driving 4 hours, we stopped by a far-flung branch of Starbucks. I had my coffee fix and got a couple of Maple Oat Scones (on a sidenote: I hate how I could never get those darned scones in any store in Manila after 8am) to eat after a very late lunch. An hour later, the journey resumed. The sunset was beautiful, washing the sky with amber and orange streaked with salmon tinges before plunging the world into temporary blackout.

The boonies were dark and cold when we arrived. With the now-dried sweat plastered to our body and exhaustion tightening its grip, the weary travelers took an hour to prepare their quarters, take a nice hot shower (yes, hot showers in the boonies - the water in the pipes are naturally heated by the merciless sun) and then sink into oblivion.

By 5:30am, I was awake. I was stunned, naturally. I was in vacation mode and yet my body clock was still in work mode. Great, what do I do now? I wake Rex and together we explore the wonderful place called The Town Plaza. Yup, though we were in the boonies, it was still a bit modern. Hey, my cell boasted a full signal all week! Don't knock the boonies! Hemingway, the plaza was just as I remembered it from my very first trip there ten years ago except for a few concretized changes here and there. Same general atmosphere though: population density is such that if the same were applied to Makati, there would probably only be one person occupying every floor of every building in the Makati CBD.

Great, I thought, peace and quiet. This illusion was shattered as I walked back home after enjoying the fresh air and the glorious sunshine. I heard a shriek. A death scream.

One of the three (not-so-) little pigs was spewing crimson blood from its throat into a silver basin held underneath it. Its screams gave way to gurgling moans until it was still. Boiling water was poured and the old man proceeded to shave off its hair with a razor blade.

I continued to watch from 5 meters away. Images of bacon and porkchops and inihaw na liempo danced in my head. Then they start to morph into pigs. A vast multitude of pigs that grew fangs and started chasing me. Aaaagh! I think I'm hungry!

As Manong sliced open the pig from throat to anus, I saw not the porcine corpse but Flatty, our Human Anatomy cadaver (from way back in college) with his preserved internal organs in disarray inside a tapa-like abdominal cavity. Manong started taking out loops of small intestines and made a pink wreath out of it. He cut off the large intestines then hacked off the pig's arms. The abdominal cavity lay open as he extracted the liver and pancreas. He ripped off one kidney with his hand.

I watched silently. Then I reached in and touched the other kidney. It was warm and strangely odorless. It was warm. I pulled it out of the abdominal cavity as I had seen Manong do it a few moments prior. It was still warm. He sliced off the legs and the chest meat. I saw him scoop out blood from the chest cavity with a metal cup. He cut off the heart and handed it to me. Speechless, I held it in my hand as I watched him.

It was warm. It was WARM. IT WAS WARM! AND BLOODY! Aaaagggh!

I used up to a tablespoon of Dial liquid soap to wash my hands.

Lum-lumo, grilled porkchop and sinigang na baboy were served for lunch. I ate dinengdeng na sitaw at saluyot with roasted bunnog. Seriously, can you blame me?!?

-o-o-o-o-o-

So anyway, now that I have successfully appeared masipag today, I can go back todoing what I do best: slacking. Besides, I have to go take a bath and look for some decent (define decent?) clothes to wear because after two years of being unable to do so... I am going to the Fair tonight! Wheeee!

Till next time.

Ta-ta!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Close your eyes and I'll sing you a lullaby
Nothing to fear coz i'm right here by your side"

Closing Time

2006-05-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Closing Time - Semisonic

Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it.

MWHAHAHAHAHA!

Letch...

Hemingway, don't have much time to blog anymore. Too preoccupied with my new baby. He's three months old now and is much much more demanding than he was when he was younger. He's bigger, noisier but much more amusing. His antics never fail to make me smile. It's that smile that makes my day, especially after tons of work.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Someone once texted to me: Smile, because it's your smile that makes me want to live.

Well, things do change, don't they? Oh well, just gotta roll with the punches and go with the flow.

Steady lang, dude! It's the survival of the fittest! Or should I have said, survival of the numbest!

Bwehehehe... an inside joke.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Life is like a box of chocolates. Who cares what's in there? Chocolates are still chocolates. In any form, it's almost better than... you know! But of course, dark chocolate ROCKS!

It's closing time... for my eyes. Nyt nyt y'all!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"You don't have to go home
But you can't stay here
I know who I want to take me home..."

...

2006-01-23T03:02:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Fragile - Sting

The catharsis has ended.

It is time for a new beginning.

Yeah, right! BWAHAHAHAHA!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Sometimes... no, make that MOST OFTEN THAN NOT. Most often than not, it's not the "there" that matters but the "getting there".

Yup, still trying to "get there". Get where? Oh... somewhere. Somewhere I didn't know existed but now that I do, I want to go nowhere else but there. Where? *snicker* You seriously think I'd tell you?!?

Sure I would.

NOT!

But it's been great so far. I don't mind trying "getting there" for a few decades more.

Though sometimes I do wish I was There. You know... there.

Where?

Just there.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"... how fragile we are
How fragile we are..."

Just Surfin'

2005-10-25T21:07:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Return To Innocence - Enigma

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

-o-o-o-o-o-

So anyway, I came across this quiz and curiosity got the better of me so I took it. And what do I think of the results? Sikretong malufeeet! Hehe...

-o-o-o-o-o-

Halloween is one of my favorite "holidays", though it's not really a holiday and as far as I know there are no Catholic events associated with it so it's all good! (Off topic: my least favorite holiday is very very Catholic and there are only 60 or so days till it comes) Besides, what other day of the year are you allowed to dress up like shite, get plastered and look like an utter fool but actually be forgiven for it? Halloween is THE time to go crazy and go wild with your imagination... in the costume department, that is.

Halloween rocks! Especially when it's time for the kids to celebrate it. I got so tired looking after my kids in the morning. The afternoon session was such a treat; I took care of Kaye's kids. Sobrang masunurin yung mga bata. Hindi kumulot ang buhok ko; di umunat ang bulbol ko. It was pure fun!

Their costumes were so cute and so creative. Of course there were the usual fairies, witches, Disney princesses, superheroes and monsters. But there wera also unique ones. Some dressed up as Kampanerang Kuba, Darna (yes, THE Darna. Bato na lang ang kulang), a mummy wrapped up in a whole roll of tissue paper, and one kid even had a ghost strapped onto her back. She won for "Most Creative Costume". Another kid walked in (or drove in) strapped to a black hotrod complete with red and yellow flames - rendered in complete detail using karton. He won the award for "Most Resourceful Costume". I am proud to say that they are both my kids! Hehehe... The proud (feeling) Momma.

Wish I could post their pics here but I'd have to get their parents' permission first and... ugh, not worth the hassle. Suffice to say, they were simply adorable!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Romaine lettuce has more vitamins A and C than Iceberg lettuce. But both have only 15 calories per 2-cup serving. Wala lang. A meal isn't a meal without my veggies.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Be yourself... just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way"

Sunday Morning

2005-10-23T20:19:00.000+08:00

Kasseopeia is listening to: Sunday Morning - Maroon 5

I don't understand why this is so but lately the good ideas to write about come on Sundays. Either I have selective memory (which is highly possible) or my life has become totally boring that the best stuff come only on Sundays. Whatever the case, my brain functions MOST on Sundays... perhaps in preparation for the usual Manic Monday.

Of course, today being Sunday I assumed a responsibility every Catholic has: attend Mass. No matter where in the spectrum of Reluctant Catholicism you fall (on the farther, more reluctant end if you're like moi), you still have to sit through an hour or so of holier-than-thou, self-righteous, preachy-preachy heebee-jeebees just so a temperamental God won't strike you dead with a lightning bolt straight out of the white fluffy clouds up there.

I'm not normally this angsty about church. Today's homily just made me want to scream bloody murder (complete with British accent: bluddy mr-dah, dahling!) and race for the priest's throat with my French-tipped nails. He said that for the day Christianity came to our shores with Magellan in 1521, we must be eternally thankful. For the missionaries who gave us the awareness of God gave us everlasting life, we must show our utmost gratitude.

Eternal f***ing life my stinky Pinoy rear end! Tell that to my contrymen who died defending their territory (and their own god, Bathala) from these stinky marauders who bathed twice a week. Tell that to the millions of indigenous people who are ostracized for continuing to believe in the spirits of trees and the rivers rather than the omniscient, omnipotent God. What difference does it make if they believe in these spirits when these foreigners believe in a spirit (or entity... whatever) that is symbolized by a little boy with ridiculously long lashes, curly brown hair, a nose sharp enough to cut a coconut in half and frilly clothes frou-frou enough to make the most kikay Boho chic curl up and die?!?

Before these Spaniards ever set foot on our islands, we had our own religion. Our own form of the written and spoken word. Our own form of government. Our own beautiful and diverse culture (no colonial mentality yet. *sigh* I mourn for that era) untainted by foreign expectations and ideologies. Then these stinky bastards came and smashed all that to smithereens.

And we're supposed to be thankful?!? Whose idea of a joke is that?

Well, life isn't always peachy but it's not always that rotten either. So let's write something good about Sundays.

Sunday is a peaceful day. No mad rush to work. No pressure to get up early, unless your family happens to like attending the 6am Mass. No traffic to battle with, unless it's Christmas season (which it already is, darn it) or all malls within a fifteen kilometer radius are having a sale.

I also happen to be born on a Sunday. You know how the rhyme goes: The child who is born on Sabbath day; is bonny and wise and good and GAY. So yeah, Sunday is good. When I was a kid, Sunday was the only day of the week my Dad and the rest of the family could spend together. So most of the time, we'd drive to the beach. My dad is single-handedly responsible for my being a beach-bum. And for introducing me to the ultimate drink. He calls it "Sunday Refreshment". I call it "How To Get Drunk In Three Glasses Or Less". His version calls for a jigger of gin, three ice cubes, a jigger of Island Lime (you know, the green stuff) and tonic water. My version calls for two to three shots of vodka (Absolut Vodka works best), a jigger of white rum (optional for people who hate rum with a passion), the juice of one lemon, and Sprite in a tall glass of crushed ice. His version and I got acquainted when I was seven (one sip and I was hooked) and always asked for my own glass since. Little did I know that the drinks he made for me were spiked with... 7-Up. Hah, he shall pay for his deception. Hence, he got acquainted with my Sunday Refreshment when I was thirteen. His was puny compared to mine. Hah!

Fast-forward a decade later, Sunday is also a happy day for me because of three words: unhindered telephone use. Yakkin' our heads off from morning till late afternoon talking about anything and everything in this infinite universe. That is, until she left for a place where using the telephone costs an arm and a leg. Harhar...

Oh well... 3 more Sundays... and we won't need the telephone again!

Of course, not unless she's at work and I'm too antsy to wait for her to come home. Anyway, she doesn't work on Sundays so... Hehe...

-o-o-o-o-o-

"That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave."

Say Wha?!?

2005-09-11T17:33:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Kahit Pa - Hale

Kahapon, tinopak kami ng aking paboritong tiyo na magsimba nang Sabado imbes na Linggo. Kaya limang minuto bago mag- alas sais, sumakay na kami sa kotse at nagmaneho patungo sa simbahan.

Simula nung labintatlong taong gulang na ako, palagi na akong Linggo kung magsimba (yun ay kung sisipagin akong magsimba. Madalas kasi mas gusto ko na lang matulog o di kaya ay magbabad sa harap ng telebisyon basta Linggo ng hapon. Hindi din naman ako nagigising nang maaga kaya out of the question ang pagsimba sa umaga.) kaya nanibago talaga ako nang magsimula ang Misa.

TAGALOG ANG MISA! Waaaaaaahhhh!

Oo, marunong ako mag-Tagalog. Ano naman ang akala ninyo sa akin, parang si Martin Nievera na mahigit dalawang dekada na sa Pilipinas eh Ingles pa rin kung makipag-usap? Pero, for some reason, lost na lost ako sa Misa na ito.

Halimbawa lang ito:

Pari: (blahblah blah blah sa Tagalog, shempre)
Kaeiy: ahm... ah, eh... and also with you.

Kahit paano naman, naiintindihan ko yung Misa at nakakasunod pa naman ako. Ingles nga lang ako kung sumagot. Para akong naloloka nung Misa na yun. May running translation sa Ingles na nanggyayari sa utak ko! Parang isang Chinese Kung-Fu movie na masagwa ang pagka-dub...

Pari: (blah blah blah sa Tagalog bleh bleh bleh...)
Kaeiy: (nakaluhod) Ah... eh... Lord, I am not worthy to receive you. But only say the word and I shall be healed. (background: bleh bleh bleh sa Tagalog pa rin shempre)

I swear, naloka ako sa Misa na yun! Buti na lang at yung regular Church choir ang kumanta nung gabing yun. Hindi yung tinatawag naming Lola Brigade na akala mo ay mga kinakatay na baboy pag kumakanta ng Hallelujah... Kahit paano, naka-survive ako sa Misang yun dahil magaganda ang mga boses ng mga kumakanta. Sa tuwing kakanta sila, napapalingon ako sa choir loft. Ang galing talaga nila. Lalo yung bago nilang soprano. Hehe...

So, children, ano po ang moral of the story? Wala. Magsimba pag Linggo. Hindi Sabado. Linggo. Or else, magiging paranoid schizophrenic kayo... tulad ko. Mwahahahahaha!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Sa umagang darating
Lahat ay aking kakayanin
Kahit pa ikaw lang at ako..."

Me, Coffee And My Idio(t)syncracies

2005-08-25T19:31:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Sway - Bic Runga

Coffee and three inches of readings mix like vodka and... er... a sad person in need of a drink. Coffee makes it easier to plod through all the hullaballoo that so and so author said regarding this and that theorist. It helps my tired brain make sense of the layers of meaning (and useless jargon) these authors spout.

Coffee and people-watching mix too. Coffee makes people-watching more pleasurable. Plus, it helps ease the guffaws that well up in the throat when a not-so-pleasing sight manifests itself. Take it from the resident pintasera herself. Coffee makes people-watching more fun.

I know I am doing more people-watching (and blog-writing) than actual studying. That's ok. May second and third exams pa naman eh.

-o-o-o-o-o-

She takes the plush armchair across from where I lounged on a wooden chair. Her sleek Nokia 6630 does the talking for her, eyebrows knitted and thumb furiously screaming her soundless protests. "You're taking too long! My stomach is growling! My head is pounding; I need my caffeine fix!" Her world is a gloomy, gray place with hunger pangs stabbing her stomach and caffeine deprivation clouding her brain. Her beauty whithers as her discomfort grows, consuming her lovely face in a sooty vapor.

Then she walks in, her ray of sunshine. Her hair dances in the unfelt wind, her smile rendering the incandescent bulbs obsolete, her scent headier than the coffee brewing behind the spotless counter.

Miss Gloomy becomes Miss Sunny as she takes a couple of steps closer to the armchair. Miss Gloomy (now Miss Sunny) takes her hand and rises to kiss her lips. They walk out hand in hand, both taking a stroll under their own sunshine at 7 in the evening.

In my heart, I envy them. I take a sip of my scalding brew, look down on my notes and attempt to reconcile Skinner with Gesell.

Damn nigh impossible.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Stirring a short paper cup of just-below-boiling coffee with a freshly unwrapped green straw, she gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "dumb blonde" and I'm not even sure if she's indeed a SHE... in the anatomical sense, that is.

She doesn't even look real. Her cheekbones look altered. Her chin appears to have been fat-injected. Her lips are two lumps of molded collagen under a paper-thin layer of unmelaninated epithelium under a scalpel-acquainted nose. Her eyebrows are charcoal lines permanently stamped in her tightly stretched face. Perhaps the only things that are real about her are the lungs she is turning into asphalt with her ninth cigarette and the complaining stomach she's drowning in her third tall hot cappucino.

I wash down my doubts with a gulp of caffeine and comprehend Bandura. She could be someone's wife, after all.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A hefty lady sashays past my table. She is clad in black silk pants, a black tube top and strappy black stilletos. What catches my eye is not her flesh bunching up in the wrong places or her clothes that are almost bursting at the seams. It is a tag on her back. Upside down, like a turtle turned over on its carapace. Like a banner screaming till hoarse, yet unheeded and ridiculed still. It reads: Morgan de Toites. Oh my... isjapex!

At least I know she's a real woman.

It's in the hips, I tell myself as I drain my coffee cup before frowning down on Pavlov.

-o-o-o-o-o-

She comes into the shop as I place my readings into my document case. She looks familiar; she looks different. But I know who she is.

I don't need coffee to tell me that.

Do you?

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Sway my way, yeah
I need to know all about you
... It's all because of you"

Murakami Dreams and Nursery Rhymes

2005-08-08T22:09:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Jeepney - Sponge Cola

I tore off the cling-wrap and laid the precious packet on the table. The plastic cover found its way around the parcel, embracing the delicate sheets. Four sticky strips held the hug down.

I flipped the cover open, inhaled the sweet smell unique to newly-opened books, and began.

"I'm in the kitchen cooking spaghetti when the woman calls."

And then I am lost.

Call me back in an hour. When Murakami stops messing with my mind.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Some nursery rhymes have subliminal messages. No, make that "MOST nursery rhymes have subliminal messages" instead. Take this, for instance:

Whine, whine sugar baby
Whine whine sugar baby
Push, pull
Pound, pound, pound

This, my dear friends, is a song about a whiney baby (or baby damulag) who got beat up. By a caretaker, perhaps? Pwede, no? How about this one:

There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe
She had so many children
She didn't know what to do
She gave them some broth
Without any bread
She whipped them all soundly
And put them to bed

Negligence. Child battery. Failure to use effective contraceptive means. Goodness me, what is the world coming to?

But the best if 'em all is this:

Monday's child is fair of face
Tuesday's child is full of grace
Wednesday's child is full of woe
Thursday's child has far to go
Friday's child is loving and giving
Saturday's child works hard for a living
But a child that's born on Sabbath day
Is bonny and wise
And good
And GAY!

I was born on a Sunday. Go figure! *rotfl*

What about you? What day were you born in?

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Naaalala ko ang mga gabing
Nakahiga sa ilalim ng kalawakan
Naalala ko ang mga gabing
Magkatabi sa ulan"

Anorexia Unconsciousa

2005-07-02T10:50:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Milk - Garbage

Anorexia Unconsciousa - a (fictional) malady (invented by yours truly) characterised by a drastic loss of weight despite ingesting vast amounts of food, having very little or no physical activity whatsoever and getting more than the Recommended Daily Allowance of sleep (yours truly requires a minimum of four and a maximum of 36 hours of snoozetime).

After summer classes teaching dance and regular classes (na hindi ko naman ikinapayat, darn it!), I had two weeks of vacation. I don't remember what I did with those two weeks (I know I wasn't able to go to the beach, oh poor me). As far as I could remember, I was either sleeping, reading a book or eating. That's why I don't understand why the weighing scales declared that I lost almost 18 pounds at the end of vacation (just in time for my physical exam). So the final verdict was this: after two weeks, I weighed not my usual 122 pounds kung hindi isang tumataginting na 108 pounds. Rubber shoes, denim jeans and handbag included. Buck-naked, I weighed 104 pounds. Funny, I didn't feel the weight coming off. Honestly, I can't understand how it could have come off. Haller, I was practically hibernating! But hell, three scales declaring the same weight while in my birthday suit (my "heaviest" was 105 pounds, given by our bathroom scales and my "lightest" was 103.5 pounds given by my Aunt's freaky talking scale that announces your weight in a voice reminiscent of Star Trek's computer - which happens to belong to Gene Roddenberry's beautiful wife)... that's hard to dispute now, is it? Pakiramdam ko pa, pinagtutulungan ako ng buong mundo. Everyone in my house says I look so thin. Emaciated even. They've compared me to my bird-of-an-old-beeyotch great-grandmother (yup, she lives still and so does her husband. Without life-support at that - masamang damo, what can I say?), to the coconut trees lining the shores of my favorite place on Earth, and the number 2 Mongol pencils used for entrance exams. Perhaps if I was taller, they'd call me Olive Oyl (this is actually the only time I appreciated being short. Hehe). Fine, I turned to my wardrobe (which, at this time I haven't worn for a couple of weeks) for supporting evidence. I took out the smallest shirt I own and the tightest jeans from the back of my closet. Lo and behold, I needed belts to hold my jeans up and I could fit into my old XS-size Mango shirt (a feat I haven't attempted since I graduated from high school).

Hence, it became the duty of everyone (including me) to make me gain weight. Hence, after-dinner snacks looked like this:

That's just the first of two after-dinner snacks. I also had my mid-morning snack of chocolate chip cookies and vanilla ice cream at around 3 in the morning.

So three weeks into my mission to fill out my jeans and be able to leave home without a belt (which is not my favorite accessory at all), I've made some lifestyle changes that aren't really changes (hehe). As I usually do, I eat five times a day. Let me correct that, I eat five meals a day, three out of five of which are rice meals. Plus the countless little snacks. I have no aversion whatsoever to fried food, isaw or to any form of meat ,though I am really not a fan of red meat (especially processed meats except in the form of hotdogs, Spam and bacon). I still prefer fish and shellfish even when shrimps and crabs give me allergic rhinitis. I am pleased to note that at the time of the readout (taken Thursday, June 30) I have gained four pounds. I've also stopped jogging and lifting weights (which is more of a product of time constraints than an effort to up the bulge) for the meantime. The only muscles I exercise are my jaw muscles.

It's weird though, I don't feel that I've gained weight the same way that I wasn't even aware of losing it in the first place. If it wasn't for the jeans that I could wear without unbuttoning or the shirts that could conceal a bunch of bananas plus my torso, I wouldn't believe I lost weight. Honestly, I don't feel any different now than I did before. Whether I weighed 122, 108 or 104 pounds. It's like I'm the only who doesn't care.

Should I give a *bleep*, in the first place? Seriously, what's with everyone's obsession with weight? And may I add, it's my weight they're so worked up about, not their own. With the exception of Easter, Pao and my two lovebird friends TQ and Aphro - everyone's in a frenzy over my next scale readout. I stepped on the scales when I woke up this morning. In my birthday suit, the scale reads 105. Strange.

Oh well, sabi nga ni Wolfgang Puck: Live. Love. Eat.

Amen to that!

Cheesecake, anyone?

-o-o-o-o-o-

"I am milk
I am in the kitchen
And I am cool
Cool as the deep blue ocean

I'm waiting
I'm waiting
For you..."

Fifteen Seconds of Steam

2005-06-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Suntok Sa Buwan - Session Road

Today I had my second "recital" of sorts on violin. My audience: 45 kids aged 2 to 3 1/2 years old and six teachers. The "occasion": it was part of our discussion on the use of the ears (to hear or to listen). The verdict: they loved my rendition of that (awfully nauseating but very effective) Barney song that goes "I love you, you love me. We're a happy family. With a great big hug *kid hugs some other kid*and a kiss from me to you *gives a smooch*. Won't you say you love me too." (but which I like to sing as "I love you, you love me. Let's go out and kill Barney. With a 45-caliber shot to the head. Aren't you glad that Barney's dead?" or better yet, "I love you, you love me. Let's go find and kill Barney. Get a big shotgun and shoot him on the floor. No more purple dinosaur." Or I could say "... no more f*cking dinosaur." That depends on my mood. Harhar) My conclusion: damn, I need to go get lessons (oh forget about the logistics, such as "when will I have the time to take lessons?" For the purposes of prose, let's just suppose anything's possible and GMA really is innocent). It's tough enough learning to play the violin by myself (although the Suzuki method does that - playing by ear - which I prefer to reading music sheets. Ugh!), but to be praised for playing a nauseating song by an equally nauseating extinct creature... Spare me, please.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Speaking of GMA and the Gloria-Gate scandal and Susan Roces's heartfelt (and very emotional) speech earlier this evening... I think the country needs no more of this crap. I saw a streamer somewhere in one of the clogged streets of the Metro that says "Trabaho, hindi gulo." and something like "Pagtutulungan, hindi siraan." and I found myself silently agreeing. For a moment there I panicked. Gah! Have I finally succumbed to the other Filipino pastime of politicking (the other pastime being chismis which I believe every female in our clan - and probably yours too, dear reader. And oh, and throw in a few males too - is guilty of)? But I relaxed a few minutes later. Come on, what the hell have these scandals done? How much is the peso against the dollar again? How much does a freaking liter of diesel cost (diesel pa lang yun ha. Paano na lang ang premium fuels with higher octane levels? Last I checked, diesel was around 28 bucks per liter, depending on which station you go to)? Looked into the stock market lately? Tama na. It's getting ridiculous, really. Maawa kayo sa Pilipinas.

By the way, I have the "Hello, Garci" ringtone as my default tone. It's a riot to listen to. Sometimes I deliberately take a long time to answer my calls so I could laugh myself to stitches over that ringtone. Harhar.

*hip-hop background* "Hello? Hello? Hello, Garci?"

It's a real stress-buster I tell yah! You can get it at txtpower.org. Or I could send it to you. Mamili ka: e-mail, MMS, Bluetooth, or Infrared?

-o-o-o-o-o-

I'm done with my revised report for tomorrow (obviously, kaya matapang ako mag-blog muna. Harhar). I hope I'll be first to submit again tomorrow. Wala lang.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Do indulge a frazzled individual's whims and give me this moment to be my bratinella self. My poor alter-ego has had very little chance to surface these days so I'd like her to have her 15 seconds of fame (15 minutes is way too much. She might want total control next time. Harhar) and let her say what she wants. She says... "I want to watch Trainspotting!"

Ok, shyaddap now.

*cough cough* Calm Kaeiy back online. So, does anyone have a copy? Heehee.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Di mo ba alam, damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan"

Dekada

2005-06-17T13:01:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Secret Garden - Bruce Springsteen

Isang dekada.

It's been ten years. One decade. 3,657 and a half days. 520 weeks. 120 months. Well, more or less but you get the picture.

Sampung taon, pare! Sinong mag-aakalang makakatagal tayo ng sampung taon! Who would've known we'd actually NOT kill each other after spending so much time with each other and knowing the darkest sh*t about each other. Who would have believed that you'd still be alive after I almost skinned you with a cutter way back in high school nung ayaw mo ibalik yung yosi na binigay saken ni Toits. Hehe. Who would believe I'd still be alive after all the times I've pissed you off. Who would've known we'd still be soaking each other's shoulders with our tears (and our *whatever* after so much laughing) even after ten years. Who would've known it was futile to play Twenty Questions with you! Harhar...

So, if you and I hadn't met...

* I would not have had a bestfriend na pwedeng-pwede ko kunsintihin (hehe) pero hinding-hindi ko ma-convince na magyosi
* Wala akong kasama na mag-stay in the Chem Lab with Ma'am Elizabeth (*swoon*) to prepare reagents in third year
* The Mastermind won't have an Accomplice (hah! Aminin!)
* Those strolls around the school perimeter would be so boring and lonely
* Recognize this? "Don't wanna be your Ivan wrench..."
* I'd have had to find another mailman
* The Math Cheating Triad would be incomplete
* Same with the Physics Exam Circle
* USSr would be one rebel short
* The Chem Exam Table would have one less operative
* The Barkada Table would have no supply of Tortillos
* Wala akong kopya ng Ang Paboritong Libro Ni Hudas
* I would not have tried to quit smoking (unsuccessfully) so many times during high school and college dahil asthmatic ka at ang hirap mag-yosi habang ka-kwentuhan ka! Bwiset!
* Wala akong "historian", as in a living breathing encyclopedia volume on the subject of Kasseopeia (harhar)
* I wouldn't have found out it was safe (and actually fun) to hang out at the Baywalk from night till morning
*Twenty Questions would be just another easy game to play
* Hindi ko ma-memorize ang "Secret Garden" ni Bruce Springsteen. Show me the money!
* You will not be The Quarter Inch Man and I would not be The Full Moon
* Wala akong conscience, as in That Little Voice In My Head That's So Annoying That I Am Completely Convinced I'm Schizophrenic sort of thing... hehe...
* To put it simply, my life (lalo na nung high school) would have been so much more exciting if not for your voice at the back of my head telling me to "do the right thing" hmph! Just kidding!

For the decade that has passed us by (but not without its treasure trove of memories) and for the next decades (take note... decadeSSSSSSSSSSS) that are to come, thank you Pao! My brother (adopt niyo na kasi ako!), my conscience, my health-watcher, my drinking buddy (kaso ikaw na lang ang iinom, iced tea na lang ako), and most of all: my bestfriend.

Tama na ang drama! Agbartek tayon! Hwarharhar!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"She lets you in her heart
If the words that you say are right
But into the secret garden
Don't think twice"

Colon dash close parenthesis

2005-06-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Daughters - John Mayer

Lunkgut-lungkutan muna tayo, children.

Masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari. Hindi pa nga kami nangbabang-luksa para kay Auntie Lilia, namatay naman nung Huwebes si Uncle Con (asawa ni Auntie Lilia). Kapatid ni Papa si Uncle. Tatlong taon na siyang ginagamot for pituitary cancer. Auntie Lilia was diagnosed two months ago with bone cancer (which was mistakenly diagnosed as TB of the knees six months ago) and it was too late. The cancer had metastasized to her breasts, liver and ovaries. Two weeks after diagnosis, she was gone. We expected that. What we didn't expect was Uncle Con following soon thereafter. There was nothing extraordinary about Uncle Con's condition that day. Uncle Jo said nakapag-banyo pa nga sila about an hour before he died. Dar, Uncle Con's eldest son, came at two pm to give his dad food... and was greeted by his father's cold body. His nails were black already and his body cold.

Cancer runs in my mother's family. Anybody who has died in the past four generations were killed either by homicide (you know how dirty provincial politics becomes), accident or cancer. Nobody's died of pure old age. I certainly won't be the first one, hehe (nagpatawa pa eh). Anyway, I didn't know cancer also ran in my dad's family though I'm sure cardio-pulmonary diseases do.

In a morbid way, it's good to know HOW I'll die. It's either I get shot, run over (or be the unlucky driver), or succumb to cancer. Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas everyone.

On a completely unrelated thread, (well, kinda, since we're talking about death anyway) I'd like to quote TQ (as she negotiated the winding road to Lucban behind a really slooooowwwww van): "Alam ko na kung anong ikamamatay ko. Either heart attack or car accident."

Yadda yadda

2005-05-23T05:55:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Wishing That - Jann Arden

Sunday last week TQ, Aphro, Gorgeous and I went to Lucban, Quezon for the Pahiyas Festival. Scout was supposed to come with us but she wasn't able to make it. As it has been for the previous years that I visited the place, it was hot, packed, beautiful, fascinating... did I mention it was hot? Same old, same old. Only this time... I lost my wallet. Har... Ang may balat sa pwet, umamin na!

Despite that, we all had fun. Foodtrip! Pancit habhab, fried kiping, yema ballsand lots of water. On the way home, we passed by the DITRI outlet beside The Original Buko Pie store and got 3 liters of ice-cold fresh milk. Aphro and TQ downed one while Gorgeous and I downed the other. In 5 minutes flat. Brain freeze! Gorgeous took home the last liter. Then we had bulalo for (a very late) lunch. Walang diyeta-diyeta sa trip na ito!

And as always, pag kasama ko ang aking mga barkadings (kabarkadang bading... hehehe), we got lost on the way. TQ had instuctions to exit at Carmona (dapat Calamba!!!) but we had fun despite that. Joyride!

-o-o-o-o-o-

"For it was not into my ear that you whispered... but my heart;
For it was not my lips that you kissed... but my soul."

Untitled

2005-05-22T20:24:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: All Apologies - Nirvana

Callous. Cruel. Insensitive. Irresponsible.

"All in all is all we are." - Kurt Cobain

I'm sorry.

All in all, this is all I am.

Crash Into Me

2005-04-06T05:33:00.000+08:00

Kaiey is listening to: Akap - Imago

As it has done last month, out beloved home network crashed again. But of course, with viruses (virii?) removed, SP2 installed and system cleaned up I am back online!

Summer has begun and guess what! I have yet to wear any of my bikinis. The sun has yet to toast my skin to a crisp golden brown. My feet has yet to sink into the warm sand. I was supposed to go to Punta Fuego with my colleagues a couple of weeks back but the flu had other plans for me. Ugh, such disgusting plans! A sustained 2-day long 41-degree Celsius fever, my voice reduced to frog croaks, and inability to stand light (and even air from an electric fan) on my eyes and skin. Pero dahil pasaway ako, the day my fever went down to 38 degrees, I played badminton with Rodj, Kaiz, Towlights, Kritz and Ky. Thank goodness hindi naman ako na-binat.

Summer classes begin on Monday next week. I will be teaching dance. Whee! Good luck sa akin. Nawa'y ika-payat ko ito!

-o-o-o-o-o-

The only thing worse than being sick is being sick enough to stay home but not sick enough to warrant serious medical attention.

The only thing worse than that is being too sick to take care of someone you love with all your heart and soul... that someone you love who happens to be sick as well.

Dammit, the flu sucks. B-I-G time.

I'm glad it's over. Ugh...

-o-o-o-o-o-

At dahil wala aking magawa, I got this from tequilabreath's blog:

Kaiey is: updating her hibernating blog (and is placing her vitamins in her purse just so she won't forget to take it first thing in the morning)

Kaiey feels: tired but satisfied that she ironed her pants properly without burning a hole through it ( hey! that's quite an achievement for Kaiey! ask her friends! Heehee... )

Kaiey wants: to go into the forest and drink fruit juice (*evilgrin*)

Kaiey says: "ako lang ba ang hindi nagu-update ng blog?"

Kaiey hopes: to see the light very very very soon

Kaiey believes: in the power of the intention

Kaiey insists: that it's her way or the highway ( well, most of the time)

Kaiey chooses: to go with the flow

Kaiey prays: to make it to the honors list (libre namang mangarap ah! )

Kaiey spites: the viruses that attack the home network (hahehe)

Kaiey sees: stars. It's all she wants to see.

Kaiey needs: a very long vacation and lots (and lots and lots) of good good loving (ooh yeah!)

Kaiey craves: (*evilgrin*)

Kaiey looks: stupid in Winnie the Pooh pj's and blue stilletos

-o-o-o-o-o-

Finally, I saw My Sassy Girl. Well, the first five minutes anyway. Di ko natagalan... boring! Oh well, at least now I know. *shrug*

-o-o-o-o-o-

Just a thought. TQ (tequilabreath) lists me under her "must-have shots of wisdom". But with entries like this, my gaaawd, what kind of wisdom (if any) do I impart? Should it be "miss"-dom instead? ( Ang corny ko, bwiset!)

On the topic of corn, all Holy Week, I ate corn on the cob every single freakin' day! So my poop was the color of the font right HERE... oops... sorry... I'll shut up now.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko

... sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka..."
- 'Akap', Imago

Online!

2005-02-26T13:22:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: I Miss You - Incubus

Our home network has finally been rid of the awful viruses (virii?) that have been going around so all pc's are up and running again... and connected to the Internet! Whee! So this morning, when I woke up at around 10, I went online to check my mail. I had 24 unread messages from my family mailing group (since my clan, maternal side, is scattered all over the world). Mahirap talagang mawalan ng Internet.

Two weeks left in the schoolyear! After that, I can go running around several beaches in the North for three weeks! Whee! Calling all my bikinis! Come out, come out wherever you are! The time to shine has come!

But first, must get into bikini-worthy shape. Yesterday I played three hours nonstop badminton with Kaiz, Rodj and Towlights. I've been NOT playing for too long. Now my body aches but its good to feel DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) again. Maybe tomorrow, I will go train with my old rowing team. And abuse a different set of muscles. Hahehe.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Finished watching Tipping The Velvet this morning as well. Loved it. Loved it! Beautiful... So nice to find that one person to be with... after all the trials, all the hardship, all the broken hearts, all the tears and the pain. After searching for one's self and finding it.

I do believe that Espresso and I will have that happy ending. We will. I believe it. We believe in it.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Kritz and her SO broke up two weeks ago. And the ex went back to her ex. Who happened to get it on with an ex of Kritz's friend. And this friend of Kritz wants her ex back despite the fact that Kritz's ex's ex and her ex got a thing going for a while. Nahihilo ako keeping track of who's with whom and who's not with whom anymore. Sabi ko kay Kritz, make a tree ala L Word so they could keep track. Hehehe...

I miss talking to Kritz. Her final quarter exams are coming and she has so many projects. She's been very busy lately.

Come to think of it, so have I. Madaming paperwork na tatapusin. OK lang yan, dalawang linggo na lang, tapos na ang schoolyear. Kritz and I have three weeks to catch up.

And hopefully, three weeks of beach bumming! I can picture it already...

Now if I could only work up enough courage to have my hair cut...

Of Cellphone Snatchers, Pokpok Shoes, and Oishi Pillows

2005-01-30T18:00:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to That Song In The Coke Ad

Thursday was a very tough day for me. Thursday, I was in emotional turmoil. Refusing to let go. Stubborn me. I refused to let go of something that practically asked to be let go. I could not. I refused to let go without a fight. I never go down without a fight. My Comm 2 prof knows that (fat old b*tch!) and I proved to her that even if she gave me three consecutive singkos for being absent during crucial reports I could still get to a 2.0 in her darned class. Persistence is key, I knew. Persistence, courage, a true-blue stubborn spirit and a very very very hard head!

At the end of the day, neither let go. I didn't. Walang bumitaw. Walang binitawan. All's well and good. Thank goodness!

But that Thursday afternoon, I unwillingly said goodbye to my cellphone. I did not, however, let go without a fight. I held on and twisted my arm around to grab it back. Sad to say, I went into EXternal shoulder rotation instead of INternal shoulder rotation. Wrong move. I ended up with an empty hand and a mildly sprained wrist. He then proceeded to WALK away (more like swagger away!). Kung hindi lang malaki yung bag ko nung araw na yun, hahabulin ko pa yung pakshite na yun at bubugbugin ko pa! Kaso naisip ko, may mga kasama yun. Ayoko ata masaksak! If I had him stranded beside the vehicle I was in, I'd probably whack him right then and there. Oh well... phone's gone and I'm alive so let it go. Sure... let it go... Grrrrr... (On a side note, I have a new SIM and a new number now. I'm starting to hunt down my old contacts and will start stalking them via text soon. Harharhar...)

-o-o-o-o-o-

Pokpok shoes. That is what my mom calls sneakers that are folded at the back and turned into slippers. Something like slip-on sneakers. She calls them such because some eight years ago, a well-known (hence, notorious?) group of teenaged females in our area (collectively labeled "pokpoks" by the entire neighborhood) wore their sneakers folded at the back. The thought just occurred to me. Sorry. Hehehe. I know the entry isn't making much sense.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Anyway, for three days, I endured the harrowing double-edged sword experience of 1) using an archaic, hard-as-concrete-keypad Nokia 6150 and 2) being "line-less"...therefore had to use a pre-paid Globe SIM! Waaaah! Que Horror!

In those three days, I consumed more than 500 bucks worth of prepaid credits. To think I didn't use my phone to CALL! All I did was text! Wah! Never never never again! I will forever be a line subscriber. For someone who has had a line since time imemorial (ok fine, since I got my first phone seven years ago...which was...tantanaran! A Nokia 5110 which I named Gypsy after I painted the battery and the case with glitter nailpolish and stuck body stickers on it), going pre-paid felt like going into battle with a gun... an unloaded gun!

So I got a second hand SE T230 from (Uncle) Rodj's officemate dirt cheap and yesterday, I went to Globe to get my new SIM. They didn't have the last 4 digits I wanted (one was not allowed for my line bracket or something... it's intended for the lower end plans, as I understood. And the other available number was blacklisted. Ang daya! Lagot sila saken pag nag-apply ako ng bagong linya sa May! I demand THAT number!) so I settled for the next best thing. Got that one, fortunately. So now, I am back in contact with the rest of the world... well, anyway, I am back in contact with those whose numbers I either 1) memorized by heart (tatlong tao lang yan: si Espresso, Tequila Breath, and my best friend Pao) or 2) was able to write down somewhere somehow sometime in the past.

There! So much for my weekend! Dumaan na ang Sabado at Linggo! Next week, on Thursday (I'm beginning to detest Thursdays!) will be my classes' turn for Parent-Child Interaction Day. Whazzat? Think of it this way: I will be conducting my "usual" classes"... with the parents (and their other relatives) watching us! Wah! Directress said not to be afraid. To quote the Great Teacher Lilian, "They are here to see how their children are, not to criticize you. So don't cover up. Be as true as possible. Show them how their children are in school." Right! Right? Wah!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Horny Angel, a part of my Pisay barkada once commented "Bakit hindi ganun ka-nformative yung blog mo? Parang pira-prasong kwento!" So I explained to her that a blog is a blog. It's not my WHOLE life. It's more of... about 10% of my life. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. There are some things in this blog that I let slip for one reason or another, that I never would under different circumstances but did anyway. But it is never the big picture. They're but thumbnails, so to speak. But whatever little bits I say here, they're all true. Not the whole picture. Just bits and pieces. But genuine bits and pieces. As I said to her, a blog isn't everything. Even my journal (a notebook that I write in... as in sulat-kamay) is only about 80% of my thoughts.

How come? Well, try as I might, even if I work on a computer (which I have attempted in the past, but I found that the smell of paper and ink is a crucial element in the art of journal-keeping), my fingers are never fast enough to keep up with the speed at which my thoughts bounce around in my head. I am writing down Thought One while Thought Two forms then branches into Thoughts Two-point-one and Two-point-two. And when I finish expounding on Thought Two and its two offspring, Thoughts Three and Four have flown by at the speed of light and I am grappling to connect Thoughts Five and Six to the just-passed-me-by Three and Four.

Very frustrating. Indeed.

-o-o-o-o-o-

I am currently hooked on Oishi Pillows. Well, I have been for a long time. It's only last night that I realized how hooked I was (well, me and my sister Kritz). We bought ALL the Oishi Pillows that a nearby sari-sari store had. And when they ran out, we trekked to the next store to buy out their stock. All in all, we (meaning me, my mom and my sibs) ate about twenty bags of Pillows. Ulk!

So much for losing weight in time for this summer's Dance and Movement Class which Kaye and I will teach. Plus, I plan to go back to rowing by the middle of next month so I have about two weeks to get my endurance up a notch. When I get back to rowing, I'm positive I'll be huffing and puffing my way through about 10km of hard paddling. Huwah! Thank goodness I've quit smoking!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Trivia for the day: External rotation (ER) of the shoulder results in the inside of your arm, including the biceps, facing out. Internal rotation exposes your elbow and your triceps. In a cellphone-grab situation such as the one explained above, doing internal rotation (IR) will allow you to use your biceps to flex (bend) your elbow towards your body, effectively giving you the upper hand in getting your phone back (and twisting your assailant's arm into ER) As a bonus, you can hit the assailant's elbow OUT since he is in ER, he is liable to sprain his elbow if the blow is hard enough. Ah, sweet revenge!

The Cycle of Salt and Sugar

2005-01-23T22:22:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Same Ground - Kitchie Nadal

I know when my cycle begins anew. It is when I start craving chicharong laman from Lapid's, blueberry cheesecake from Becky's (though I'm not THAT crazy over blueberries, I'd still eat the topping because it will cause diabetes in mice), Lay's potato chips, Chocolate Decadent cake from Jack's Loft, Caesar's salad from Dome (my latest craze...the croutons on that thing is amazing! And the dressing is something else!), Spicy Chicken Floss from Bread Talk, dozens and dozens of donuts (chocolate loops from Gonuts Donuts, maple-raised from Country Style, Belgian Bites from Mister Donut), Beard Papa cream puffs (aaahh, a piece of heaven!), a grande cafe latte (screw soymilk! I get it with WHOLE milk. Yipes!) from Starbucks with an extra espresso shot... and three sugars, and any form of salty-sweet carbohydrates I can freely stuff myself with until I burst.

The cycle of Salt and Sugar marks the beginning of PMS. Yup, you read it right. Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. About a week later, the world turns red.

It's really strange. I've been "a lady" for 8 years now and yet my cycle is as regular as a 2-year old's penmanship. See, I was a late bloomer. In my high school batch, I was second to the last to get my period. I got mine the summer before sophomore year (and the last in our batch got hers at the beginning of our sophomore schoolyear), so yes, that's late in this world when 9-year olds bleed every month.

The only way I can predict when my monthly (if it decides NOT to skip) kalbaryo begins is when I begin to pig out, eat ten times what I normally do (and based on what's "normal" with me, that is a LOT) and I begin to bloat and retain water from all the salt and sugar.

And when the crimson tide comes, I am a pig with a slit throat.

Yuck...

-o-o-o-o-o-

My best friend Pao asked me one day, "Hindi ka pa ba napapagod sa kaka-mens mo? Magpaka-lalaki ka na lang kaya?" while he was sympathizing with a doubled-over-in-pain-Kasseopeia while watching me eat my third slice of New York cheesecake. HAH! Kahit masakit mag-mens, kahit mag-cramps ako buong araw, kahit may lumbosacral pain ako for three to four days of my cycle, hinding-hindi ko pipiliin maging lalaki! Haller?!?

-o-o-o-o-o-

And because I have nothing better to do today, I snagged this quiz from this blog.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. write down what it says:
>> it says "... ang mga kalaban ko ng possessed na video ni Sadako, na...! " (10 bucks to the one who can guess what book this is from. Hehehe...)

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
>> a mound of my dirty clothes. Yuck...

What was the last thing you watched on tv?
>> Extreme Discovery on the Discovery Channel, a one-hour ep on the lives of Doctors Without Borders volunteers in war-torn areas of Sri Lanka and Burundi. (Hay, this is one of the items in my list of 100 things to do before I die: to go on a medical mission as a volunteer...)

Without looking, guess what time it is.
>> around 9:30 kasi gising nako...

Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
>> 9:45 am. Hah! That was pretty accurate!

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
>> "Lihim" by Cambio playing into my ear. Haheheh...

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
>> Yesterday, went to the mall. What was I doing? Having a good day. ;-)

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
>> Peyups. Homepage eh. Yun talaga ang unang magl-load.

What are you wearing?
>> A black Peyups shirt and green shorts.

Did you dream last night?
>> Yup. Multiple dreams pa. Sheesh!

When did you last laugh?
>> As in a from-the-belly-utot-inducing laughter? Yesterday. Naaliw ako sa kasama ko sa mall. Ang kulet! Binu-bully ako. Nagpapa-bully naman ako! Hehehe...

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
>> An orange wall clock. Rows of bags. A light switch. A full-length mirror.

Seen anything weird lately?
>> What I'm eating right now: fresh strawberry slices in wheat bread. Weird but it's good. Either that or my hormones are tricking me again. Hehehe. :-p

What do you think of this quiz?
>> Uh, it gives me something to do so... thanks. Hahehe...

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
>> A big house within Manila that has a big garden. I already have one in mind. All I have to do is to wait to become a multi-millionaire, nyahahaha!

Tell me something about you that I don't know.
>> Errrr... that I'm on the rag? :-p

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
>> Allow same-gender marriages anywhere and not just in some selected places. Marriage should be about love and commitment and nothing else. (Naku, nakikini-kinita ko na reaksyon ng isang lurker dyan! Keber!)

Do you like to dance?
>> Yes, despite the fact that I have two left feet. Hahehehe. I'd rather dance than sing!

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
>> Ayoko isipin. Baka ma-unsyami.

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
>> Sinabing ayoko isipin eh...

Would you ever consider living abroad?
>> Not unless kasama ko si... Hehehe... (lakas ng pangarap powers! Yebah!)

-o-o-o-o-o-

I was right. Crimson Tide has come. Ugh. Tomorrow means Concentration C(r)amp. On a Monday too. Double Ugh!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Wow! I have quite a long entry today. I know why... kasi ako ay nagpaka-busy-busy-han this past week so I guess I have a lot to write about.

This week, the kids were abnormally unruly. Their energy never seemd to dissipate. They'd usually be at their rowdiest on a Tuesday then their energy would taper down towards Friday. But come Friday, ther were still being little... well... unruly children. I even had a kid bite another kid! Biting again?!? Yargh! Kagatin ko sila dyan eh...

Well anyway, all's good. It's a Sunday today. I enjoyed my Saturday. I guess I'll be ready to go back to work tomorrow.

When I finish this darned LP. Sheesh...

-o-o-o-o-o-

Quote of the day: "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

The Diary of a Shrimp Allergy

2005-01-13T15:25:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: The Weakness In Me - Joan Armatrading

At 12 midnight, we woke up. We knew Kaeiy was awake too, tummy rumbling. We readied ourselves, knowing we were the only edible thing in the fridge as of the moment. Papatusin kami nun, yun pa! Sure enough, there she was, eyes half-closed and one hand reaching into the coldness of the fridge.

Jackpot! She grabbed us, the plate of halabos na hipon barely chilled from fifteen minutes in the subzero temperature, and proceeded to dump all ten of us big fat shrimps (about as long as her palm and twice the size of her index finger) on a clump of warm rice. With her shrimp-peeling prowess, she used a spoon and a fork to undress us in less than four minutes.

She speared Number One closest to the edge of the plate, dipped it in a vinegar-onion-garlic-chili pepper dip and stuffed One in her mouth. Swallowed.

Round two! Fight... and devoured all ten of us in three minutes flat. She cracked open a can of Coke Light, washed down our remains, brushed her teeth, washed her face and went back to bed.

So the Ten Shrimps went to heaven.

-o-o-o-o-o-

I just ate shrimps for my midnight snack. Ewan ko ba, nagutom ako eh. So I went downstairs and peeked into the fridge. No other edible stuff in there... except for a plate of shrimps. Upon closer inspection, I saw they were halabos. I can smell the Seven Up in there... How juicy! Yummy! But wait... shrimps + Kaeiy = allergic reaction. Allergic reaction = rose-like rashes all over! Whee! SO WHAT? They're shrimps and they're yummy!

ATTACK!

What does one need to devour ten huge shrimp? A spoon and a fork for peeling ( I can use my hands but not when I'm in a hurry!), a bowl of vinegar with onion slices, crushed garlic, chopped siling labuyo and cracked black pepper... and a heap of warm steamed rice.

3 minutes after... KO!

So I went to bed... and woke up with red eyes. A pair of numbed lips and numb fingertips. Not bad, I thought. Then I looked in the mirror! Wow! Mukha akong Yakuza! Pula nga lang! Rosettes on my face, a map of the Philippines on my back (in red!), red dalmatian spots on my arms and a smattering of red freckles on my thighs! Whee! I wanted to take pictures and post them kaso mukha akong monster at ayoko naman maging sanhi ng bangungot! So take my word for it, it's just like an alcohol allergy.

What did I do? Call up the school to say I'll be absent! Did I take antihistamine? Nope. Not yet anyway. I think I won't need to. As of the moment, the Philippine map has bene reduced to an EZ map of Manila, the rosettes on my face have withered and died and the dalmatian spots have become garapata spots. Hehehe...

So thanks to ten lucky shrimp, who are probably on their way to becoming poop in my large intestine, I get to spend one whole day at home... rubbing my eyes red, redder, reddest. Kidding!

I think I saw the crab vendor stop in front of the house this morning... and I saw Nanay talking to her. Whee! Steamed crabs for dinner? I can't wait!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naiintriga na talaga ako dyan sa My Sassy Girl na yan ha! Sino ba may kopya nyan ha? Oh please, end my curiosity! Heehee...

I smell chicken soy sauce cooking downstairs. Mama's probably cooking. So I guess we won't be having crabs anyway. Aaawww... oh well, I don't want to be absent tomorrow with my full allergic regalia, though it may be fun to see how my kids will react to a puffy, bloated, red-spotted teacher with red eyes. Ang saya saya!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Missing someone so bad is a bite in the arse, ain't it? Come to think of it, I've said this before and I've said I'd write an entry for this but never did. Oh well, let's leave it at that. Missing someone is really very hard. I will do anything to be beside the one I miss but of course, I can't! It would be placing the one I miss in jeopardy... well, not really. I just don't know how to get to where I can see the one I miss. Dratness and everything in between! But it's ok. I know makikita ko pa siya ulit.

And when I do, recharged nanaman ang Happiness Factor ko! Wheeee!

Hay, miss na miss ko na siya talaga... Gusto ko na siyang makita! Argh...

Lagot saken yun pag nakita ko siya mamaya... heehee...

-o-o-o-o-o-

The schoolyear's end is approaching quickly. Parang kailan lang, ninenerbyos pa ako na magkaron ng sarili kong klase... ngayon parang chicken na lang siya. Well, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. There's plenty of paperwork (lesson plans, brainstorming, assessment reports, narratives) and since individualized programs are used, I make 27 different exercises for the kids at least 3x a week. And when the days are bad, my God, they're really bad. Think having 27 3-year olds in one house... all throwing a tantrum, fighting, crying or being simply bratty. When it rains, it pours! Minsan pa, bumabaha!

But when the days are good, they are very good. It's like heaven smiled down on me and God just sent me a package of blessings. Door to door! Hahehe...

In teaching, as it is with any other thing (especially LOVE), the joy of the good days always repays the sorrow of the bad days. May sukli pang pwede ipang-pondo ng negosyo! Hahaha. It's when the profit becomes negative that one should start thinking of leaving.

For now, the kids make me happy. Working with them fulfills me. And I will stay in education as long as the passion in me burns. It burns bright and I am not one to leave in the middle of something good. Who would want to, anyway?

So what if I am a licensed Physical Therapist? I'm not leaving the country. I don't care if I can get more money practicing my profession out of the country. It's not my passion. Please (eherm, Titas and Titos, sorry... pero hindi talaga. Ayaw. Wag muna.) stop "tempting" me. It's not working.

But...

Ayoko pang pumasok bukas! Pwede bang one long weekend na lang ako? (gahaman eh no?)

Fridays and Food Poisoning

2005-01-07T22:52:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Underneath It All - No Doubt

Yesterday, my tummy was making drama drama *lol*. Oo, masakit siya kahapon pero walang nangyayari! Masakit lang siya. Nagpapakipot pa. Letche! So I ignored it. Tuloy lang ang ligaya, turo pa rin ng ABC, 123 ng mga bata.

Lunchtime today, my co-teacher Teresa had food delivered to celebrate her birthday. Fifteen minutes later she comments, "there's something funky about the morcon." Ooops, I ate morcon.

Half an hour later, my tummy was doing cartwheels. Oh please stop! My afternoon class is coming in an hour. Oh please STOP!

An hour later, it still didn't stop. I hurled half of my lunch into the sparkling white toilet bowl. Wheee! Sh*t...

Fifteen minutes into my class, I hurled again.

Half an hour later, fifteen minutes into Chinese period (therefore I was on break), strike three!

After Chinese period, ball four. Walk! Wala na. Ubos na. Bile na lang yung lumalabas.

Game over. Finally.

F*cking finally.

Gory...

So come dismissal time, Teresa brings in two half-gallons of ice cream (Fruits In Ice Cream strawberries and cream and Chocnut I think) and therefore, my tummy being empty gave me license to devour not one, not two but FOUR mugs. Heehee...

Moral of the story: get food poisoned. You can eat all the ice cream you want later on anyway.

Pwe.

Heniwei, surreal moment of the day (night?): I went with a friend to scout's shoot where Jacklyn Jose was (is? - my brain, FYI, is not functioning and is currently being sustained by a tall espresso frap from Starbucks. Sh*t... sh*t for brains! Hehehehe... ). Friend says "Ano kayang puno ito?" while gesturing to a tree (which I suppose was either a Golden Shower or a red Fire Tree), and to which I pointed while saying "Alin, ito?" My friend freaked out and shrieked "Anukaba! Turo ka nang turo dyan! Baka kung anong nandyan!" to which I replied "Ano ka ba! Kung may kung ano dyan, sasabihin ko naman sayo!" At that moment, Miss J said "Naku, magbasa ka nga!" gesturing to the base of the tree where a cafe was built around it. It was named "Tabi Tabi Po Cafe"

Oh...kay!

Whee! Anyway, point being, nakatyawan ako ni Miss J. I don't mind. Kahit sampung beses nya ulitin... Ganda nya! Shite!!! Hehehe...

So there... my brain, actually, is not in working order. I am currently being sustained by a tall Espresso Frap from Starbucks. And the caffeine in it is nowhere near enough. Gah!

And a plea to the KINDEST people in this side of the country... PLEASE! Help me fill up my second booklet. Kritz wants her own planner! I have 8 days! Eight freaking days! Haller?!? Mamamatay ako sa dami ng kapeeeeee! Saklolooooooo!

Speaking of "saklolo", I remember that as a child I always laughed at that word. It made me imagine my maternal grandfather being stuffed into a sack of rice. Chickboy kasi eh kaya buti nga sa kanya kung ganun ang mapala niya! Kidding... But no sh*t. I didn't know "saklolo" was a real Tagalog word. Yipes.

So anyway, I gotta go hit my own sack. I need to sleep. It's been a hard day! I've been chasing kids, breaking up fights (over a piece of chalk! Haller?!?), talking to an overprotective mother ("Teacher, hindi pa kasi siya marunong humawak ng pencil. Baka matusok siya." Haller?!?) and an apathetic father (haller?!? Nananapak yung anak mo! Don't you get it? Your child just hurt a classmate! and you say "He'll outgrow it someday" Goodluck! Sana hindi ka umabot sa Principal's Office pagtungtong ng anak mo ng grade school! Josko! ), checking 27 notebooks, keeping 15 kids off each other at the slides. AND Imagine retching in the middle of class! On second thought, no, don't imagine it. It ain't a pretty sight. Trust me!

Anyway, enough of my blabbering. I need to hit the sack. Shut up. And spare the poor readers. Ta-ta! Sayonara!

The Garage

2005-01-04T08:55:00.000+08:00

Across the street from my house is the garage. Contained therein are two cars, a motorcycle and piles and piles of junk. Well, not mostly. This is also where I keep my old medicine textbooks, my pcoketbooks, my journals, boxes of pictures... and half my life.

Last night, my old journal ran out. It scared me. Not because I had nowhere else to write. I did. It was just that... it was in the garage.

I'm not afraid of mice. I'm not afraid of cockroaches (as children, my brother Kais and I would catch live roaches and throw them at each other), spiders (though big ones freak me out), or ants.

I'm afraid of the garage.

It looks like a gaping maw. Like it would swallow everything than crosses the threshold. Sucked in. And digested into oblivion.

Waaaaahhh!

But I had no choice, did I?

So armed with my (miniscule) courage, the garage keys and a dust mask... I embarked on my journey.

I crossed the street
.
I put the key into the lock. Turned it. Put the key in the other lock. Turned it.

The door creaked open.

*intro death march here*

I put one foot forward, followed by the other. Two more steps and I entered the musty bowels of The Garage.

Then a voice from heaven.

"Hoy Kaeiy! Baket may notebook ka dito na walang sulat?" my Mom yelled.

Hallelujah!

I am saved!

Hehehe...

Mixed NATS (Nothingness, Anecdotes, Thank You's and Sh*t like that)

2004-12-30T16:18:00.000+08:00

First of all, let's roll the BIG THANK YOU's!

A big THANK YOU to Gorgeous for my Starbucks Planner! Finally! After losing my first two booklets, thanks to her for getting me a new booklet and adding in the LAST sticker. Hay, finally ulit!

A big THANK YOU to PussyLover for the latest kakikayans in my blog! Wheeee! Thanks thanks! Now it doesn't look so boring. Yippee!

A big THANK YOU to Karla for the Paramita and Murder of Crows cds!

A big THANK YOU to the jowa friends for reminding me to put on my bungee cord and harness... and for pulling me out of the deep sh*t I keep getting myself into.

Since I want to make an utter fool of myself, I'd like to share this:

Kasseopeia watches sunset with friend.
Kasseopeia: "Sh*t! ang ganda naman ng sunset! Ayokong matapos ito! Mute! Mute! Mute!"
Friend: "Anong mute ka dyan? Baka naman Stop! Stop! Stop! ang sinasabi mo?"

Sabi ko nga....

Anyway...

Just a thought: I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life. I used to always give up. But when I am ready to fight, someone else gives up on me. It will be a never-ending cycle of give-up and get-given-up-on for me. So, I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life... till you come around. Kaya kung sino ka man, parang awa mo na! Dumating ka na! I'm so tired of being ALONE! So hurry up and get here! Get your arse here, and fight alongside me. And please don't give up! Because I ain't giving it up. Not in this lifetime. Or maybe even in the next. Malay ko ba, sa kabilang-buhay pala tayo tinakdang magkasama! Chos!

Just another thought: missing someone is a b*tch. It turns one into a pile of useless mush... *sigh* but that's another story. My eyes are too tired. My brain is too tired.

And all I'd end up with is a messed-up entry to add to this messed-up blog. Authored by a messed-up me. Wheeee!

Happy, happy. Joy, joy. Happy, happy. Joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy, joy, joy!

Hmmm, naisip ko lang, I have two friends who are named Happy and Joy. Happy died at 10. Joy is 22 and a mom of three kids.

Somehow I envy them. They have served their purpose.

What's mine?

P.S. do NOT suggest that I read A Purpose Driven Life. Please!!! I shall quarter you with my uber-sharp cheese grater so HELPMEGAAWWWWDDDD!

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...

What The F*ck?!?

2004-12-24T02:20:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Lihim - Cambio

I know the title sounds really offensive but please do have a little faith in me that I, by NO MEANS conceivable, mean it in a bad way. It's just a really nasty expression I cannot remove from my vocab so do pardon me.

Okay, down to business. Compiled a few WTF?!? moments here and I'd like to share them with you. And, oh, if YOU happen to be the person accidentally or intentionally involved in these moments, please do take the time to scroll a little lower down there *points down* and read my post scripts. Ayt? Thanks!

Here we go:

Kasseopeia: (plugged into earphones, listening and singing to UrbanDub's "Give" quite loudly in the MRT on the way to Shangri-La, minding my own business) "The moment I wake is the moment you sleep. You're always receiving, yeah." (proceeds to air-drum. Duh...loser!)
Hella-cute butch erstwhile nameless: "Heyah, you listening to Urbandub?"
Kasseopeia: (snaps out of pathetic lyric-butchering and looks up at infinitely tall female in yellow shirt and black jeans. Smiles to hide her surprise and insecurity at being beside a person almost a foot taller) "Yup, you listen to them too?"
Same hella-cute six-footer still nameless: "Of course! They rock!" (extends right hand out) "Hi, I'm Lisa." (no shite! That's her name!)
Kasseopeia: (shakes Lisa's hand) "Kasseopeia."
Lisa: "So, where are you headed?"
Kasseopeia: "Shang."
Lisa: "Ah, I see. I'm off to SM City."
Kasseopeia: "Oh. North station."
Lisa: "Yup."
(MRT announcer says something like "Shaw station" in a crackly voice like tissue out of a Calvin Klein paperbag after getting the hella-expensive but frays within a month boxers)
Kasseopeia: "Well, gotta go. Nice meeting you, Lisa."
Lisa: (waves) "Bye, girl!"

=====WTF?!?=====

(Kasseopeia sees -ipis- and Veggiemeat at Trattoria and decides to sit with them a while and tell them about Lisa.)
-ipis-: "Oh. My. God. Welcome to the club." (extends right hand)
Kasseopeia: (shakes -ipis-'s hand with a f*cked up expression on her face)

=====WTF?!?=====

(Kasseopeia laughs ass off at Starbucks with friends.)
Scout: "Kasseopeia, ang rugged mo ngayon! Hindi ako sanay!" (refers to yours truly's red shirt, blue jeans and black sneakers)

=====WTF?!?=====

(Kasseopeia's bestfriend of 9 years, Liquid_Angel, comes in and joins already crowded conjoined table)
Kasseopeia: "Heard this new novelty song from the radio. Sino kumanta nito?" (and murders the already triple-dead f*cked up lyrics)
Liquid_Angel: "Ikaw. Kakakanta mo lang eh!"

=====WTF?!?=====

(Kasseopeia sends email to friend based in far-off corner of this God-forsaken country)
Kasseopeia: "Haller! Can you contact some VA** peeps and ask them if they still meet up at the same place, at the same day and at more or less the same timeframe since I feel this unspeakable urge to renew contact with them? I think it's because I want to see T'Pol's arse again. It's the new season of Enterprise and I haven't even seen a single ep! Wahehehehe... Anyway, do update me ayt? And ask them what I need to do to renew membership... and library rights. AYT? Thanks dude! Live long and prosper!"

=====WTF?!?====

**VA a.k.a Via Astris Inc. is a SEC-registered Star Trek Fans org headed by Paolo Jalbuena. I am a member of the yahoogroup but lost the email address subscribing to it coz I am a f*ckng GENIUS. No shite! Bah!

Lisa, for the record, was approximately 6 feet in height, had amazing red-streaked hair and was wearing a bright-yellow shirt with a picture of the Motley Crue on it. And yes, she was hella-cute!

-ipis- has long since explained what she meant. I get it, girl! Thanks for the, errr, welcome. Harhar.

Scout was referring to previous instances when she saw me, wearing my Kagalang-Galang (KGG) schoolteacher-will-meet-up-with-parents-of-students-so-she-better-look-decent-so-as-not-to-be-mistaken-for-a-sadistic-pedophile outfit that most often than not consists of a knitted sleeveless top in an obscenely bright color, bootleg-cut blue jeans and black leather boots. On that night, I probably looked like I just had a romp in the bush with a couple of tigers. Peace out, kiddo! Just kidding. Your comment really made me laugh, believe me. Ask Liquid_Angel. I talked about it all night at (late) dinner. Rugged indeed.

Liquid_Angel needs no explanation. After nine years of being around my psychotic self, he already understands why I chose to sock him in Malate almost an hour later and not a few seconds after he made his (un)remark. Har-dee-har-har.

Kasseopeia is/was a member of that org until she went MIA in June after the schoolyear started and her students' schoolwork and their crazy antics took their toll on her fragile psyche. All it takes is Jolene Blaylock's ass to make her snap out of her (unwarranted) stupor.

Post PS: Thanks for the WMA file, Veggiemeat. The song rocks!

Dub-ista

2004-12-22T15:56:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: Give - UrbanDub

I have been listening to this UrbanDub album (Birth, the first one) everyday since I got it at I Love You (the shop on the 2nd floor of Cafe Saguijo) Friday night. It was a long and hard road trying to get a copy of this album!

When UP Underground held "UrbanDub na ito!" I scrambled to the CD booth, hoping to get their album. I was so so so IN LOVE with the song "Come" then (can't blame me, yun yung unang sumikat eh) only to discover that they sold only the second album (Influence, which is also very good. It's just that, "Come' isn't in that album!). I bought it anyway and enjoyed Influence. After a while, I heard from the grapevine that 50 copies of Birth were delivered to Sarabia Optical (it's an optical shop located in UP Diliman's Shopping Center) two days prior. When I got there, one person came out with three (THREE!!! hindi man lang nagtira!) copies of the album. Guess who came in 5 seconds too late! Gaaaaah! Lady Luck! You hate me! Admit it! Bah!

So when I saw this album at I Love You, I tossed it into my pile of two shirts and a divine skirt that I also found. Hay... happiness! Lahat ng songs gusto ko, except "Apart" (track 10). No offense to the fans pero ayoko ng rap. Hehehe...

@}-;-----

Ky (the other bane of my existence, hehe) listened to the album last night while I was covering books.

Kaeiy: "Taga-Cebu sila."
Ky, the bane: "Talaga? Magaling sila ha."
Kaeiy: "Magaling talaga sila!"
Ky, the bane: "Yup, mas magaling sila sa Itsumo."

What the F*CK?!? Doesn't even COMPARE! Haller?!? Asar...

@}-;-----

GIVE

I wait by the phone
I wait for a call that never comes
I’m playing your game
But the truth is it’s driving me insane

The moment I give
Is the moment you take
You’re less than forgiven

The moment I wake
Is the moment you sleep
You’re always receiving

Am I wasting my time
In time you’d get yours
And I’ll get mine

You’d be surprised
On how things
Can get back at you sometimes

Coz I've played your fool
Now I’m breaking all your stupid rules
Coz I’ve had enough of you

Now I’m leaving it all
I’m leaving you

The moment I give
Is the moment you take
You’re less than forgiven

The moment I wake
Is the moment you sleep
You’re always receiving (2x)

I wait for the call that never comes
Am I wasting my time
Coz time takes its crazy toll

@}-;-----

I spent a good deal of time listening to some songs over and over to get the lyrics for Kritz (my absolute fave sibling and fellow Dub-ista). "Give" is her favorite. Somehow it's one of my favorites too. Pero "Come" tsaka "2 Things" pa rin!

In many ways, Kritz is like me. Natatanga pagdating sa pag-ibig. Harhar... How I envy her, though. She knows where her happiness is at her age. It took me 8 extra years to figure it out for myself. Hay, kids these days. They're not kids anymore.

Himala!

2004-12-21T21:29:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to : Himala - Rivermaya

Since Sunday, today was the first time the sun kissed my skin again. Oh, pardon me. May I say it was the mid-afternoon sun, to be exact? I have been cooped up for three and a half days in this forsaken house, where my sleep-wake cycle and my eating habits have gone haywire. Blame vacation, a state of animated suspension for my tired and stressed-out brain.

So today, Wednesday, I decided to put on some decent clothes and get out of the house. It wasn’t a very productive day but I did get out of the house and that IS a good thing.

What did I do? Hmmm... lemme think.

First, I went to Globe to pay last month’s bill (whoa! Almost twice my monthly service fee!) and to swap my sister’s Smart SIM for a 64K prepaid one. I was waiting for my number to be called for fifteen minutes, which I spent constructively (kind of) admiring the cellphone models on display (mostly Nokia. Ugh, I am so sick of Nokias) in their glass cases.

I then marched on to several stores to help Nanay (my maternal gradma) look for a pair of white or dark gray pants (while Rodj and Kaiz went on to Olympic Village! Waaah! I want to go too! I need new shuttlecocks and a new racket! And new shoes! Waaah! Take me with you!). Oh, how hard it is to shop for someone above 65! Everything she sees is “pangbata naman yan!” Waaaah! No wonder we ended up buying a pair of polyester-rayon dark grey pants in the department store. Mango just had NO decent white pants (according to Nanay) and Jessica was just too “conio” (Ano ika nyo, Nay? P*kp*k yung pantalon? Hehehe) for her. Whatever!

My favorite part: food! We were debating whether to have Italian or Mexican ( I wanted a burrito but my brother wanted Italian. So did Nanay. Guess who lost! Bah!) So we debated between Chef D'Angelo and Sbarro. I said I was sick of Sbarro and Rodj seconded the motion. Kaiz pushed for La Piadina instead. I protested. La Piadina AGAIN! Gaaaaah! No! So I pushed for Chef and Rodj backed me up. So on to Chef D'Angelo with Rodj (my ever lovable and ever hip-though-slightly-an-oldie uncle), Kaiz (my brother, the bane of my existence), Ky (my youngest sister, the other bane of my existence) and Nanay. Devoured one quarter chicken, half a Chef Salad, and one whole plate of puttanesca. A plate of pasta that was "meant for sharing" says the menu behind the cashier. But of course, I don't share. Gahaman ako. Harharhar. Ended up with a big, happy belly and some cold chicken to take home (which I am eating now).

They all went back to Globe to claim Ky's new Globe SIM while I went to National to grab some plastic cover for my new books (love love love new books partly because I love covering them in plastic. Wehehehe...)

Back to the 5th level parking lot. Refused to drive car home. Would like to get home safe and sound, car and passengers alike thankyouverymuuuuuch!

Came home and have been online for... hmmm... about 3 hours.

Not a very bad day, after all.

Now if you would please excuse me, I have books to cover!

Later!

Wonderful

2004-12-21T10:05:00.000+08:00

Kaeiy is listening to: 2 Things - UrbanDub

I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and I turned in bed. Plugged into the stereo. Plugged out. Rearranged my seven pillows. Flipped my bedspread over. Dragged my sister from her bed and asked her to talk to me. She fell asleep; I didn't.

Why?

A short, 30-second call I received kept echoing in my head. "You are still as wonderful as I first met you."

How, I wonder, could I be "still as wonderful" when I have been split open and gutted and the skeletons in my closet all came out to dance a frightful jig?

How, I wonder, could I be "still as wonderful" when all my past mistakes came back to taunt me, when all the sh*t of my past came rocketing out like great balls of manure?

How, I wonder, could I be "still as wonderful" when I simply AM NOT?!?

What is probably harder for me to accept is that this someone who saw the gutted me still thinks I'm wonderful.

It's so beautiful but so sad.

I'm just not wonderful.

I'm just not.

Sunday Morning

2004-12-20T01:33:00.000+08:00

Sunday is over! What did I do?

Let's recap:
1. Slept at 3:00 AM over at Grace's place after a very noisy (and bonding-ful) Mismas Party.
2. Woke up at 6:30 AM despite getting but one REM cycle. Force of habit?
3. Took a bath at 8:30AM.
4. Got home at 10:30 AM.
5. Went online for a while.
6. Slept on and off from 12 noon to 7PM.
7. Got my fat ass off the bed and ate half a dozen donuts.
8. Took a shower at 8:00PM.
9. Planned to watch LFS of Pa-siyam but realized, at 9:20PM, I wasn't going to make it.
10. Went online to request a copy of my birth certificate.
11. Blogging at 12:33AM, Monday.

@}-;-----

Rodj: "Why do you blog when you have your journal?"
Kaeiy: "Narcissism?"

@}-;-----

I want coffee and cheesecake. At one in the morning. Starbucks in Adriatico is open till about 5AM... hmmm... ponder ponder...

At least it's a craving easier to satisfy than Rodj's craving for KFC after seeing the TVC.

We are (mostly) a fat family. Go figure. Or lack thereof. Harhar...

Of Stars and The Night Sky

2004-12-19T20:02:00.000+08:00

Stars are transient. They only seem to be forever because their light goes on though their source has gone.

Strange, but my favorite analogy using stars is that of happiness. Happiness is the twinkling of stars. It goes on and on, though the source has gone.

It seems like a happy thought but its not because it pertains to memories. Though memories are sometimes happy (and sometimes gut-wrenching), that’s all they are: remnants of what WAS and never will be again.

The night sky is blessed with many stars. Ghosts of happiness past.

I love the night sky.

It reminds me that all MUST fade away someday.

Even stars.