Alone But Not Lonely
Kaeiy is listening to: Why Can't I - Liz Phair
I like being alone. I have this special occasion in my life that I call my "Alone Time". I do not have a fixed schedule as to when this occurs during the day. It just happens and it needs to happen before 24 hours are over. If it doesn't, I go crazy. By "crazy", I really mean crazy. I become a total b*tch (more than I usually am on an ordinary day - think bad day + PMS + didn't-have-enough-caffeine), I become either unresponsive or overly sensitive... you get the picture.
I also do not have a set routine as to what I do when I am with me, myself and I. Alone Time = plugging in my earphones and doing one of the following: I read a book, write on my journal, do crunches (haven't been doing much of this lately), go for a run (and this too) or a walk (I do more of this... *lol*), or just watch people go by. Some friends call it AP or Autism Phase (kasi may sarili daw akong mundo).
I need this time to get back and keep in touch with myself. If I don't get to have this, I forget who I am and I forget my purpose in this world. Maybe if I am deprived of enough Alone Time, anyone can convince me that I am straight and I was married a long time ago in a galaxy far,far away. *LOL* Seriously, it is a need. Almost an addiction, even.
I had an ex who was so clingy that I had to enforce a no-contact 24-hour period. No phone calls, no dates, no emails, no chats. No NOTHING. Leave me alone for 24 hours. The ex didn't take it well pero wala naman kasi siyang choice but to let me be.
When I want my AT, it doesn't mean I love my partner any less. It means I love her enough for me to care enough about myself. If I cannot love and care about myself, how could I be expected to care about anything or anyone else? Bear with this idio(t)syncrasy of mine and the rewards will be yours (theirs? *LOL*) to reap.
My momsie dearest shared with me this quote (I apologize but she doesn't remember wheere she got it. So if you do find the source, let me know so I can acknowledge it. Thanks!) that I found quite striking:
"As in human relationships,
when a plant is smothered with too much attention
it can choke and die."
So when I want to be alone, please leave me alone. Do what I want or risk the wrath of the Queen B*tch. I mean it. *LOL* (I'm kidding, of course - not!)
-o-o-o-o-o-
My peyups signature says:
"If you keep looking back
at the things you left behind,
you will not see the things that lie ahead"
Again, I don't know where my officemate found this quote but I got it off her ever-changing signature in her office email. So again, if you find the source, kindly whack me on the head so I can cite it. *LOL* Enchu!
This, I find striking because it struck a chord within me. This could very well be a precis of my life as of *looks at watch* 7:00pm 21 January 2008 +8GMT. *LOL* Its close rival is: "To receive a gift, one must let go of what the hands are clutching." I just thought the first quote was more dramatic. I had images of people looking back at the people and places and loves they left behind, tripping on a dead lion blocking their path then falling down and breaking their necks. *ROTFL*
*morbid humor mode*
-o-o-o-o-o-
If there is anything I miss more than my Calvin and Hobbes Collection, it's my collection of The Far Side Gallery. Yes I am weird and I am proud of it. That way, I can say to myself with certainty. "T*ng ina, Kaeiy. Wala kang katulad... pasalamat ang mundo!"
-o-o-o-o-o-
Another bit from my peyups life: A Love(?) Letter to God!
To The Man Up There,
Pwedeng paki-patay muna yung spotlight? Mainit na eh... *LOL* Anubeh? Wala ka bang ibang mapag-initan kaya ako na lang nang ako ang pinupuntirya mo? Anubeh, malapit na akong hindi maniwala sa "God does not aim to grind you to dust. He just wants to polish you into a perfect gem." Letche, walang namamatay sa pagiging HINDI perpekto! Utang of the inside, hindi ko kailangan maging perpekto. NEVER ko hinangad maging perpekto. Never ko HININGI na gawin mo akong perpekto, letche Ka! Kaya please lang... get off my f***ing case!
Teka, diba dapat nasa Hate Letters ito? Joke lang, peace tayo ha? Alam mo namang I love YOU ko pa rin ikaw, diba? *ROTFL*
-o-o-o-o-o-
"Holding hands with you, and we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too"
I like being alone. I have this special occasion in my life that I call my "Alone Time". I do not have a fixed schedule as to when this occurs during the day. It just happens and it needs to happen before 24 hours are over. If it doesn't, I go crazy. By "crazy", I really mean crazy. I become a total b*tch (more than I usually am on an ordinary day - think bad day + PMS + didn't-have-enough-caffeine), I become either unresponsive or overly sensitive... you get the picture.
I also do not have a set routine as to what I do when I am with me, myself and I. Alone Time = plugging in my earphones and doing one of the following: I read a book, write on my journal, do crunches (haven't been doing much of this lately), go for a run (and this too) or a walk (I do more of this... *lol*), or just watch people go by. Some friends call it AP or Autism Phase (kasi may sarili daw akong mundo).
I need this time to get back and keep in touch with myself. If I don't get to have this, I forget who I am and I forget my purpose in this world. Maybe if I am deprived of enough Alone Time, anyone can convince me that I am straight and I was married a long time ago in a galaxy far,far away. *LOL* Seriously, it is a need. Almost an addiction, even.
I had an ex who was so clingy that I had to enforce a no-contact 24-hour period. No phone calls, no dates, no emails, no chats. No NOTHING. Leave me alone for 24 hours. The ex didn't take it well pero wala naman kasi siyang choice but to let me be.
When I want my AT, it doesn't mean I love my partner any less. It means I love her enough for me to care enough about myself. If I cannot love and care about myself, how could I be expected to care about anything or anyone else? Bear with this idio(t)syncrasy of mine and the rewards will be yours (theirs? *LOL*) to reap.
My momsie dearest shared with me this quote (I apologize but she doesn't remember wheere she got it. So if you do find the source, let me know so I can acknowledge it. Thanks!) that I found quite striking:
"As in human relationships,
when a plant is smothered with too much attention
it can choke and die."
So when I want to be alone, please leave me alone. Do what I want or risk the wrath of the Queen B*tch. I mean it. *LOL* (I'm kidding, of course - not!)
-o-o-o-o-o-
My peyups signature says:
"If you keep looking back
at the things you left behind,
you will not see the things that lie ahead"
Again, I don't know where my officemate found this quote but I got it off her ever-changing signature in her office email. So again, if you find the source, kindly whack me on the head so I can cite it. *LOL* Enchu!
This, I find striking because it struck a chord within me. This could very well be a precis of my life as of *looks at watch* 7:00pm 21 January 2008 +8GMT. *LOL* Its close rival is: "To receive a gift, one must let go of what the hands are clutching." I just thought the first quote was more dramatic. I had images of people looking back at the people and places and loves they left behind, tripping on a dead lion blocking their path then falling down and breaking their necks. *ROTFL*
*morbid humor mode*
-o-o-o-o-o-
If there is anything I miss more than my Calvin and Hobbes Collection, it's my collection of The Far Side Gallery. Yes I am weird and I am proud of it. That way, I can say to myself with certainty. "T*ng ina, Kaeiy. Wala kang katulad... pasalamat ang mundo!"
-o-o-o-o-o-
Another bit from my peyups life: A Love(?) Letter to God!
To The Man Up There,
Pwedeng paki-patay muna yung spotlight? Mainit na eh... *LOL* Anubeh? Wala ka bang ibang mapag-initan kaya ako na lang nang ako ang pinupuntirya mo? Anubeh, malapit na akong hindi maniwala sa "God does not aim to grind you to dust. He just wants to polish you into a perfect gem." Letche, walang namamatay sa pagiging HINDI perpekto! Utang of the inside, hindi ko kailangan maging perpekto. NEVER ko hinangad maging perpekto. Never ko HININGI na gawin mo akong perpekto, letche Ka! Kaya please lang... get off my f***ing case!
Teka, diba dapat nasa Hate Letters ito? Joke lang, peace tayo ha? Alam mo namang I love YOU ko pa rin ikaw, diba? *ROTFL*
-o-o-o-o-o-
"Holding hands with you, and we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too"
Labels: alone time, quirkiness, weird
stargazer caught shooting stars at 7:37:00 PM
1 Comments:
ayus iyang may alone time. time to reconnect with yourself, gather your thoughts, achuchuchu. minsan nakakawala rin sa wisyo kapag di mo nabibigyan ng attention ang sarili mo. :)
sorry nangingialam ako hahaha.
calvin and hobbes ftw. maganda ba far side? hmmmm, matignan nga.
bumibisita lang ulit :)
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