Anorexia Unconsciousa
Anorexia Unconsciousa - a (fictional) malady (invented by yours truly) characterised by a drastic loss of weight despite ingesting vast amounts of food, having very little or no physical activity whatsoever and getting more than the Recommended Daily Allowance of sleep (yours truly requires a minimum of four and a maximum of 36 hours of snoozetime).
After summer classes teaching dance and regular classes (na hindi ko naman ikinapayat, darn it!), I had two weeks of vacation. I don't remember what I did with those two weeks (I know I wasn't able to go to the beach, oh poor me). As far as I could remember, I was either sleeping, reading a book or eating. That's why I don't understand why the weighing scales declared that I lost almost 18 pounds at the end of vacation (just in time for my physical exam). So the final verdict was this: after two weeks, I weighed not my usual 122 pounds kung hindi isang tumataginting na 108 pounds. Rubber shoes, denim jeans and handbag included. Buck-naked, I weighed 104 pounds. Funny, I didn't feel the weight coming off. Honestly, I can't understand how it could have come off. Haller, I was practically hibernating! But hell, three scales declaring the same weight while in my birthday suit (my "heaviest" was 105 pounds, given by our bathroom scales and my "lightest" was 103.5 pounds given by my Aunt's freaky talking scale that announces your weight in a voice reminiscent of Star Trek's computer - which happens to belong to Gene Roddenberry's beautiful wife)... that's hard to dispute now, is it? Pakiramdam ko pa, pinagtutulungan ako ng buong mundo. Everyone in my house says I look so thin. Emaciated even. They've compared me to my bird-of-an-old-beeyotch great-grandmother (yup, she lives still and so does her husband. Without life-support at that - masamang damo, what can I say?), to the coconut trees lining the shores of my favorite place on Earth, and the number 2 Mongol pencils used for entrance exams. Perhaps if I was taller, they'd call me Olive Oyl (this is actually the only time I appreciated being short. Hehe). Fine, I turned to my wardrobe (which, at this time I haven't worn for a couple of weeks) for supporting evidence. I took out the smallest shirt I own and the tightest jeans from the back of my closet. Lo and behold, I needed belts to hold my jeans up and I could fit into my old XS-size Mango shirt (a feat I haven't attempted since I graduated from high school).
Hence, it became the duty of everyone (including me) to make me gain weight. Hence, after-dinner snacks looked like this:
That's just the first of two after-dinner snacks. I also had my mid-morning snack of chocolate chip cookies and vanilla ice cream at around 3 in the morning.
So three weeks into my mission to fill out my jeans and be able to leave home without a belt (which is not my favorite accessory at all), I've made some lifestyle changes that aren't really changes (hehe). As I usually do, I eat five times a day. Let me correct that, I eat five meals a day, three out of five of which are rice meals. Plus the countless little snacks. I have no aversion whatsoever to fried food, isaw or to any form of meat ,though I am really not a fan of red meat (especially processed meats except in the form of hotdogs, Spam and bacon). I still prefer fish and shellfish even when shrimps and crabs give me allergic rhinitis. I am pleased to note that at the time of the readout (taken Thursday, June 30) I have gained four pounds. I've also stopped jogging and lifting weights (which is more of a product of time constraints than an effort to up the bulge) for the meantime. The only muscles I exercise are my jaw muscles.
It's weird though, I don't feel that I've gained weight the same way that I wasn't even aware of losing it in the first place. If it wasn't for the jeans that I could wear without unbuttoning or the shirts that could conceal a bunch of bananas plus my torso, I wouldn't believe I lost weight. Honestly, I don't feel any different now than I did before. Whether I weighed 122, 108 or 104 pounds. It's like I'm the only who doesn't care.
Should I give a *bleep*, in the first place? Seriously, what's with everyone's obsession with weight? And may I add, it's my weight they're so worked up about, not their own. With the exception of Easter, Pao and my two lovebird friends TQ and Aphro - everyone's in a frenzy over my next scale readout. I stepped on the scales when I woke up this morning. In my birthday suit, the scale reads 105. Strange.
Oh well, sabi nga ni Wolfgang Puck: Live. Love. Eat.
Amen to that!
Cheesecake, anyone?
-o-o-o-o-o-
"I am milk
I am in the kitchen
And I am cool
Cool as the deep blue ocean
I'm waiting
I'm waiting
For you..."
