Mixed NATS (Nothingness, Anecdotes, Thank You's and Sh*t like that)

First of all, let's roll the BIG THANK YOU's!

A big THANK YOU to Gorgeous for my Starbucks Planner! Finally! After losing my first two booklets, thanks to her for getting me a new booklet and adding in the LAST sticker. Hay, finally ulit!

A big THANK YOU to PussyLover for the latest kakikayans in my blog! Wheeee! Thanks thanks! Now it doesn't look so boring. Yippee!

A big THANK YOU to Karla for the Paramita and Murder of Crows cds!

A big THANK YOU to the jowa friends for reminding me to put on my bungee cord and harness... and for pulling me out of the deep sh*t I keep getting myself into.

Since I want to make an utter fool of myself, I'd like to share this:

Kasseopeia watches sunset with friend.
Kasseopeia: "Sh*t! ang ganda naman ng sunset! Ayokong matapos ito! Mute! Mute! Mute!"
Friend: "Anong mute ka dyan? Baka naman Stop! Stop! Stop! ang sinasabi mo?"

Sabi ko nga....

Anyway...

Just a thought: I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life. I used to always give up. But when I am ready to fight, someone else gives up on me. It will be a never-ending cycle of give-up and get-given-up-on for me. So, I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life... till you come around. Kaya kung sino ka man, parang awa mo na! Dumating ka na! I'm so tired of being ALONE! So hurry up and get here! Get your arse here, and fight alongside me. And please don't give up! Because I ain't giving it up. Not in this lifetime. Or maybe even in the next. Malay ko ba, sa kabilang-buhay pala tayo tinakdang magkasama! Chos!

Just another thought: missing someone is a b*tch. It turns one into a pile of useless mush... *sigh* but that's another story. My eyes are too tired. My brain is too tired.

And all I'd end up with is a messed-up entry to add to this messed-up blog. Authored by a messed-up me. Wheeee!

Happy, happy. Joy, joy. Happy, happy. Joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy, joy, joy!

Hmmm, naisip ko lang, I have two friends who are named Happy and Joy. Happy died at 10. Joy is 22 and a mom of three kids.

Somehow I envy them. They have served their purpose.

What's mine?

P.S. do NOT suggest that I read A Purpose Driven Life. Please!!! I shall quarter you with my uber-sharp cheese grater so HELPMEGAAWWWWDDDD!

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...

What The F*ck?!?

Kaeiy is listening to: Lihim - Cambio

I know the title sounds really offensive but please do have a little faith in me that I, by NO MEANS conceivable, mean it in a bad way. It's just a really nasty expression I cannot remove from my vocab so do pardon me.

Okay, down to business. Compiled a few WTF?!? moments here and I'd like to share them with you. And, oh, if YOU happen to be the person accidentally or intentionally involved in these moments, please do take the time to scroll a little lower down there *points down* and read my post scripts. Ayt? Thanks!

Here we go:

Kasseopeia: (plugged into earphones, listening and singing to UrbanDub's "Give" quite loudly in the MRT on the way to Shangri-La, minding my own business) "The moment I wake is the moment you sleep. You're always receiving, yeah." (proceeds to air-drum. Duh...loser!)
Hella-cute butch erstwhile nameless: "Heyah, you listening to Urbandub?"
Kasseopeia: (snaps out of pathetic lyric-butchering and looks up at infinitely tall female in yellow shirt and black jeans. Smiles to hide her surprise and insecurity at being beside a person almost a foot taller) "Yup, you listen to them too?"
Same hella-cute six-footer still nameless: "Of course! They rock!" (extends right hand out) "Hi, I'm Lisa." (no shite! That's her name!)
Kasseopeia: (shakes Lisa's hand) "Kasseopeia."
Lisa: "So, where are you headed?"
Kasseopeia: "Shang."
Lisa: "Ah, I see. I'm off to SM City."
Kasseopeia: "Oh. North station."
Lisa: "Yup."
(MRT announcer says something like "Shaw station" in a crackly voice like tissue out of a Calvin Klein paperbag after getting the hella-expensive but frays within a month boxers)
Kasseopeia: "Well, gotta go. Nice meeting you, Lisa."
Lisa: (waves) "Bye, girl!"

=====WTF?!?=====

(Kasseopeia sees -ipis- and Veggiemeat at Trattoria and decides to sit with them a while and tell them about Lisa.)
-ipis-: "Oh. My. God. Welcome to the club." (extends right hand)
Kasseopeia: (shakes -ipis-'s hand with a f*cked up expression on her face)

=====WTF?!?=====

(Kasseopeia laughs ass off at Starbucks with friends.)
Scout: "Kasseopeia, ang rugged mo ngayon! Hindi ako sanay!" (refers to yours truly's red shirt, blue jeans and black sneakers)

=====WTF?!?=====

(Kasseopeia's bestfriend of 9 years, Liquid_Angel, comes in and joins already crowded conjoined table)
Kasseopeia: "Heard this new novelty song from the radio. Sino kumanta nito?" (and murders the already triple-dead f*cked up lyrics)
Liquid_Angel: "Ikaw. Kakakanta mo lang eh!"

=====WTF?!?=====

(Kasseopeia sends email to friend based in far-off corner of this God-forsaken country)
Kasseopeia: "Haller! Can you contact some VA** peeps and ask them if they still meet up at the same place, at the same day and at more or less the same timeframe since I feel this unspeakable urge to renew contact with them? I think it's because I want to see T'Pol's arse again. It's the new season of Enterprise and I haven't even seen a single ep! Wahehehehe... Anyway, do update me ayt? And ask them what I need to do to renew membership... and library rights. AYT? Thanks dude! Live long and prosper!"

=====WTF?!?====

**VA a.k.a Via Astris Inc. is a SEC-registered Star Trek Fans org headed by Paolo Jalbuena. I am a member of the yahoogroup but lost the email address subscribing to it coz I am a f*ckng GENIUS. No shite! Bah!

Lisa, for the record, was approximately 6 feet in height, had amazing red-streaked hair and was wearing a bright-yellow shirt with a picture of the Motley Crue on it. And yes, she was hella-cute!

-ipis- has long since explained what she meant. I get it, girl! Thanks for the, errr, welcome. Harhar.

Scout was referring to previous instances when she saw me, wearing my Kagalang-Galang (KGG) schoolteacher-will-meet-up-with-parents-of-students-so-she-better-look-decent-so-as-not-to-be-mistaken-for-a-sadistic-pedophile outfit that most often than not consists of a knitted sleeveless top in an obscenely bright color, bootleg-cut blue jeans and black leather boots. On that night, I probably looked like I just had a romp in the bush with a couple of tigers. Peace out, kiddo! Just kidding. Your comment really made me laugh, believe me. Ask Liquid_Angel. I talked about it all night at (late) dinner. Rugged indeed.

Liquid_Angel needs no explanation. After nine years of being around my psychotic self, he already understands why I chose to sock him in Malate almost an hour later and not a few seconds after he made his (un)remark. Har-dee-har-har.

Kasseopeia is/was a member of that org until she went MIA in June after the schoolyear started and her students' schoolwork and their crazy antics took their toll on her fragile psyche. All it takes is Jolene Blaylock's ass to make her snap out of her (unwarranted) stupor.

Post PS: Thanks for the WMA file, Veggiemeat. The song rocks!

Dub-ista

Kaeiy is listening to: Give - UrbanDub

I have been listening to this UrbanDub album (Birth, the first one) everyday since I got it at I Love You (the shop on the 2nd floor of Cafe Saguijo) Friday night. It was a long and hard road trying to get a copy of this album!

When UP Underground held "UrbanDub na ito!" I scrambled to the CD booth, hoping to get their album. I was so so so IN LOVE with the song "Come" then (can't blame me, yun yung unang sumikat eh) only to discover that they sold only the second album (Influence, which is also very good. It's just that, "Come' isn't in that album!). I bought it anyway and enjoyed Influence. After a while, I heard from the grapevine that 50 copies of Birth were delivered to Sarabia Optical (it's an optical shop located in UP Diliman's Shopping Center) two days prior. When I got there, one person came out with three (THREE!!! hindi man lang nagtira!) copies of the album. Guess who came in 5 seconds too late! Gaaaaah! Lady Luck! You hate me! Admit it! Bah!

So when I saw this album at I Love You, I tossed it into my pile of two shirts and a divine skirt that I also found. Hay... happiness! Lahat ng songs gusto ko, except "Apart" (track 10). No offense to the fans pero ayoko ng rap. Hehehe...

@}-;-----

Ky (the other bane of my existence, hehe) listened to the album last night while I was covering books.

Kaeiy: "Taga-Cebu sila."
Ky, the bane: "Talaga? Magaling sila ha."
Kaeiy: "Magaling talaga sila!"
Ky, the bane: "Yup, mas magaling sila sa Itsumo."

What the F*CK?!? Doesn't even COMPARE! Haller?!? Asar...

@}-;-----

GIVE

I wait by the phone
I wait for a call that never comes
I’m playing your game
But the truth is it’s driving me insane

The moment I give
Is the moment you take
You’re less than forgiven

The moment I wake
Is the moment you sleep
You’re always receiving

Am I wasting my time
In time you’d get yours
And I’ll get mine

You’d be surprised
On how things
Can get back at you sometimes

Coz I've played your fool
Now I’m breaking all your stupid rules
Coz I’ve had enough of you

Now I’m leaving it all
I’m leaving you

The moment I give
Is the moment you take
You’re less than forgiven

The moment I wake
Is the moment you sleep
You’re always receiving (2x)

I wait for the call that never comes
Am I wasting my time
Coz time takes its crazy toll

@}-;-----

I spent a good deal of time listening to some songs over and over to get the lyrics for Kritz (my absolute fave sibling and fellow Dub-ista). "Give" is her favorite. Somehow it's one of my favorites too. Pero "Come" tsaka "2 Things" pa rin!

In many ways, Kritz is like me. Natatanga pagdating sa pag-ibig. Harhar... How I envy her, though. She knows where her happiness is at her age. It took me 8 extra years to figure it out for myself. Hay, kids these days. They're not kids anymore.

Himala!

Kaeiy is listening to : Himala - Rivermaya

Since Sunday, today was the first time the sun kissed my skin again. Oh, pardon me. May I say it was the mid-afternoon sun, to be exact? I have been cooped up for three and a half days in this forsaken house, where my sleep-wake cycle and my eating habits have gone haywire. Blame vacation, a state of animated suspension for my tired and stressed-out brain.

So today, Wednesday, I decided to put on some decent clothes and get out of the house. It wasn’t a very productive day but I did get out of the house and that IS a good thing.

What did I do? Hmmm... lemme think.

First, I went to Globe to pay last month’s bill (whoa! Almost twice my monthly service fee!) and to swap my sister’s Smart SIM for a 64K prepaid one. I was waiting for my number to be called for fifteen minutes, which I spent constructively (kind of) admiring the cellphone models on display (mostly Nokia. Ugh, I am so sick of Nokias) in their glass cases.

I then marched on to several stores to help Nanay (my maternal gradma) look for a pair of white or dark gray pants (while Rodj and Kaiz went on to Olympic Village! Waaah! I want to go too! I need new shuttlecocks and a new racket! And new shoes! Waaah! Take me with you!). Oh, how hard it is to shop for someone above 65! Everything she sees is “pangbata naman yan!” Waaaah! No wonder we ended up buying a pair of polyester-rayon dark grey pants in the department store. Mango just had NO decent white pants (according to Nanay) and Jessica was just too “conio” (Ano ika nyo, Nay? P*kp*k yung pantalon? Hehehe) for her. Whatever!

My favorite part: food! We were debating whether to have Italian or Mexican ( I wanted a burrito but my brother wanted Italian. So did Nanay. Guess who lost! Bah!) So we debated between Chef D'Angelo and Sbarro. I said I was sick of Sbarro and Rodj seconded the motion. Kaiz pushed for La Piadina instead. I protested. La Piadina AGAIN! Gaaaaah! No! So I pushed for Chef and Rodj backed me up. So on to Chef D'Angelo with Rodj (my ever lovable and ever hip-though-slightly-an-oldie uncle), Kaiz (my brother, the bane of my existence), Ky (my youngest sister, the other bane of my existence) and Nanay. Devoured one quarter chicken, half a Chef Salad, and one whole plate of puttanesca. A plate of pasta that was "meant for sharing" says the menu behind the cashier. But of course, I don't share. Gahaman ako. Harharhar. Ended up with a big, happy belly and some cold chicken to take home (which I am eating now).

They all went back to Globe to claim Ky's new Globe SIM while I went to National to grab some plastic cover for my new books (love love love new books partly because I love covering them in plastic. Wehehehe...)

Back to the 5th level parking lot. Refused to drive car home. Would like to get home safe and sound, car and passengers alike thankyouverymuuuuuch!

Came home and have been online for... hmmm... about 3 hours.

Not a very bad day, after all.

Now if you would please excuse me, I have books to cover!

Later!

Wonderful

Kaeiy is listening to: 2 Things - UrbanDub

I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and I turned in bed. Plugged into the stereo. Plugged out. Rearranged my seven pillows. Flipped my bedspread over. Dragged my sister from her bed and asked her to talk to me. She fell asleep; I didn't.

Why?

A short, 30-second call I received kept echoing in my head. "You are still as wonderful as I first met you."

How, I wonder, could I be "still as wonderful" when I have been split open and gutted and the skeletons in my closet all came out to dance a frightful jig?

How, I wonder, could I be "still as wonderful" when all my past mistakes came back to taunt me, when all the sh*t of my past came rocketing out like great balls of manure?

How, I wonder, could I be "still as wonderful" when I simply AM NOT?!?

What is probably harder for me to accept is that this someone who saw the gutted me still thinks I'm wonderful.

It's so beautiful but so sad.

I'm just not wonderful.

I'm just not.

Sunday Morning

Sunday is over! What did I do?

Let's recap:
1. Slept at 3:00 AM over at Grace's place after a very noisy (and bonding-ful) Mismas Party.
2. Woke up at 6:30 AM despite getting but one REM cycle. Force of habit?
3. Took a bath at 8:30AM.
4. Got home at 10:30 AM.
5. Went online for a while.
6. Slept on and off from 12 noon to 7PM.
7. Got my fat ass off the bed and ate half a dozen donuts.
8. Took a shower at 8:00PM.
9. Planned to watch LFS of Pa-siyam but realized, at 9:20PM, I wasn't going to make it.
10. Went online to request a copy of my birth certificate.
11. Blogging at 12:33AM, Monday.

@}-;-----

Rodj: "Why do you blog when you have your journal?"
Kaeiy: "Narcissism?"

@}-;-----

I want coffee and cheesecake. At one in the morning. Starbucks in Adriatico is open till about 5AM... hmmm... ponder ponder...

At least it's a craving easier to satisfy than Rodj's craving for KFC after seeing the TVC.

We are (mostly) a fat family. Go figure. Or lack thereof. Harhar...

Of Stars and The Night Sky

Stars are transient. They only seem to be forever because their light goes on though their source has gone.

Strange, but my favorite analogy using stars is that of happiness. Happiness is the twinkling of stars. It goes on and on, though the source has gone.

It seems like a happy thought but its not because it pertains to memories. Though memories are sometimes happy (and sometimes gut-wrenching), that’s all they are: remnants of what WAS and never will be again.

The night sky is blessed with many stars. Ghosts of happiness past.

I love the night sky.

It reminds me that all MUST fade away someday.

Even stars.